A Holiday in Mourning

"But this wasn't how it was supposed to be...he wasn't supposed to die."
"Yes, but he was very sick."
"But how will we go on without him?"
"I'm not sure I don't have the answers."
"But we thought we had forever."
"You still have a future."
"I don't want this one- I don't want this day."
"What do you want?"
"I want him back."
"What would you say to him?"
"So many things... how much I loved him, LOVE him, what sharing a life with him meant to me."
"Do you tell him this now?"
"Yes." Tears falling reaching for a tissue. "I do but he doesn't answer back."
"Can you still feel his presence?"
"Yes, but I don't know how to go one- he's so close but I can't touch him."
"And your family and loved ones that are still here?"
"They can't help me- they are grieving themselves- we are all a mess...and Christmas is coming."
"Yes, it is."
"I can't begin to think how I will be able to celebrate this ever again."
"Maybe you can take a break from holidays- maybe have an Un-Holiday this year."
"And do what?"
"Maybe volunteer to help others- maybe visit a shut-in, work in a shelter. Give."
"But my heart is broken."
"I know."
"I don't know how to do this."
"No one does."
"He loved Christmas so much."
"Did he?"
"Yes, he just loved all of us so much."
"He still does."
"Yes." More tears, more tissues.
"It's a new day. A new road before you. I can't walk it for you, but I will hold your hand and be there when you need me."
"Thanks, this means a lot."
"Keep talking to him and take time to meditate."
"I'm afraid of being alone with my thoughts."
"Then stop thinking and turn it off and sit in silence."
"I saw a hawk. Remember how we saw a hawk during his memorial service? One lone hawk circling low?"
"Yes."
"Every time I see a hawk I think of him- as if it's somehow spiritually connected."
"How does this make you feel?"
"As if he is somehow communicating- but I'm not sure what it's trying to tell me."
"But how do you feel when you see the hawk?"
Blessed."
"Then meditate on this and embrace this blessing."

Yesterday was Thanksgiving Day. While she was cooking beside her children I took the dogs for a walk. A lone hawk slowly circled directly over her home. I stopped and looked up and was reminded of this spiritual connection.

We all need to look up and embrace life and the loved ones that are still living and breathing beside us. Yes life here on earth is short- but we are blessed abundantly by the connection with the world around us. Look up and feel this blessing. If you know of someone who is grieving please take the time to validate their pain- BE LOVE and be a blessing to others.

To learn how you can meditate please read my book Sæ-sii Meditation: How to Find Your Bliss in 15 Minutes a Day

The Dragonfly Whisperer

Flying Arrow Illustrated by me

For many years dragonflies have appeared in the most unusual circumstances. Winter or summer they have materialized so often that I now acknowledge them as trusted friends. When I began to see winged creatures appear during meditations...well, let's just say synergy is something I no longer ignore.

Years ago when I was struggling to leave a bad marriage they appeared to me in material objects. Funny, I had never noticed that the fabric on my chair was covered in dragonflies, my glass bowl was etched with them along with other personal treasures. I was depressed and I was searching for a path to find my way out of the gloom and here they were saying, "Don't forget about us we have been with you all along."
I packed all the items into my tiny car and drove 1400 miles to live in a new community. I knew no one. I had to begin fresh. I unloaded everything into my tiny shared living space and went to take a walk on the nearest beach. I should not have been surprised when I was greeted by a swarm of brilliant red dragonflies.

Follow me

Soon I began working in a new job. I had formerly been paid very well as a professional artist and now found myself working in a pub as a hostess for meager wages...but I was starting from scratch. A dragonfly flew in one day and perched himself on the wall behind me. My co-workers stood mouths gaping as this insect seemed to follow me around the room. I laughed it off as nonsense until I found it waiting for me in the ladies room.

Yes, they are constant reminders in my life— little affirmations that I'm never alone. I feel and sense them before they appear and I love their ability to hover and see from so many perspectives. Are they here to help redirect mine?

Those depressing days are long gone. Now I'm a happy being, moving along my path with a passion of purpose. Recently I moved to place called Clearwater and upon my arrival I was met by a huge swarm of brilliant colored dragonflies. They bounced and hovered close to me as if greeting me. I laughed and asked them to come closer to show me their color and one landed and stayed very still so I could take the photo that you see above.

Why are these tiny creatures attracted to me? Is it my scent...am I sending signals that I want to communicate with them? Is it my aura? Or is it something less mysterious?

Let's meditate together

Recently while meditating on the beach, I was visited by several as they darted about happily. I began speaking to them with my thoughts and left my hands palm up. One alighted onto my fingers and then flew up to sit upon my head. Luckily my camera was sitting nearby and my partner shot two continuous minutes of photos. He said it was tap-tapped with its legs, sending me code? Ha!

Transition is something we all go through, be it a failed relationship, death of a loved one, changing careers or moving into a new home. It is how we navigate these times in our life that will be most beneficial to ourselves and others. For me I believe the dragonfly is here to guide me and I now send them thoughts of blessings and well being. I see them as little arrows pointing me in the right direction.
Who is guiding you? What little signs keep appearing in your life? Meditation can help illuminate your pathway and bring you guidance every day. Look about you closely and see if your guides have left you a compass...seek your own synergy and when you find it...use it lovingly to help others. 

To learn more about meditation please read  Meditation Mojo.
Since writing this, with many hours of helping others with animals in spirit, missing animals, etc
I am a Professional Animal Communicator, I can speak with your animals! learn more

Your Life is a Pizza-You Choose the Toppings

Throughout my life I have stumbled through many obstacles. In my youth I won two gold medals sprinting down a track...but I could not jump the hurdles. Life's detours seemed to find me at every turn. I had dreams of going to art school and an unexpected pregnancy seemed to bar my way. I say unexpected because I was using birth control at the time and this was quite a shock. Faced with the decision to abort or continue the pregnancy was life changing. Of course well intentioned advice givers were plentiful...but they all seemed to be saying things that contradicted one another. How can anyone faced with such an enormous decision hear their inner voice when they are surrounded by the opinions of others? When the dust settled I was left alone with my thoughts and for me it was a quick and easy choice- I was having a baby:) He's an amazing 21 year old 6' 4" bundle of love now and I can't help but wince when I think of the advice of those around me. Of course they meant well, but honestly, it was none of their business. I only wish I had been meditating when I was faced with this, perhaps I would have avoided a lot of self doubt. Abortion is the choice for many, many women and I strongly feel it is a PERSONAL decision and I honor and respect that right. It just wasn't an option for me- end of story.

my baby

Daily meditation connects us to a wisdom that is greater than anyone you can reach on the telephone. Life's paths leads to many hills and valleys. Using meditation can help you discover your strengths and weaknesses enabling you to walk with purpose and perhaps stumble a little less. Do you want to remove yourself from a toxic relationship? Is there an area in your life that you need to regain control of? Are you happy with who you are? If not, then why not still your mind and begin to practice meditating in silence? By removing the noise you will begin to hear the guidance that has been waiting all along.  Start finding your inner beauty that is waiting to be set free by unraveling the onion skin of self doubt. We're all a work in progress and we can make choices by adding or removing anything we wish. If you want to vent with others go right ahead- if you want to have a pity party- no problem, this again is one of many choices.

You are a beautiful being who is blessed and unstoppable! Begin today...forget about yesterday and start fresh with an attitude of self love. Go relax take some cleansing breaths and find your inner voice as it grows stronger cheering you on. To learn how to find your inner harbor of peace please click How to Begin.

Even Spiritually Minded People Un-Friend

I have been careful to surround myself in positive energy. Troubles come and go like storms washing through my life almost as often as they do around my home in The Florida Keys. Meditation brings that peace and calm that centers and grounds me and it is with this energy that I wish to reside. But how can I stay there when I come into contact with unfavorable energies that seem stuck in mud?

Finding that island of peace has helped me to grow and learn. My heart seems to expand each day opening my eyes to the needs of others, and I find myself venturing into uncharted waters. I was invited to join a social network group where like minded people encouraged and supported one another through good times and bad. I met some wonderful people and the dynamics of the group felt like a spiritual boost each time I stopped by. But something happened to the intention and focus of this group and like a small snowball it began rolling and growing until it became an unstoppable mound of negative energy. Snarky comments, snippets of anger couched in defensive statements reminded me of my dogmatic church days... and it all felt so wrong. People pointing fingers with accusations and as I tried to make sense of it... tried to remove myself from this anger I was reminded of what can happen to good ideas when you lose your passion of purpose.

As children we often found ourselves in situations when we felt unliked...unwanted. Maybe we were pushed aside by the older kids, maybe we felt we were unpopular or maybe we just gave up trying to fit in. Many of those children have grown up to raise children and grandchildren of their own. Perhaps even some of the people in your social network.  And here they are years later no longer on the school ground but in the internet playground. There is a disagreement and instead of working it out, understanding the lessons to be learned, challenges that need to be faced they do something that is much easier...they UN-friend you. It's something our parents and grandparents were never faced with and it can happen in a click of a keyboard. Like a slap in the face from someone you may never actually have met and only knew via a thumbnail icon on your screen. All trust vanished in a heartbeat. What can we learn from this?

Walk with integrity, continue to be true to yourself. Help one another and when negative energy starts to raise its ugly head- don't get wrapped up in it. Remain silent and meditate. Give yourself permission to cut the ties and move away. Even writing this blog I questioned if this was keeping the negative energy up in the air twirling like a plate on a stick. It is my hope that this post can help others to stop and think before they say or do something (like un-friending) that can truly cause others to feel less of themselves. Learn how to AGREE TO DISAGREE - and use it wisely in your relationships.

We're each on a journey and cross paths from time to time and hopefully it's to share the joy and blessings we find along our way.  We may stumble and fall... but we can pick ourselves up, brush away the dust and look ahead to a brighter future... one filled with strong winds, rough seas and sunny days. Peace to ALL of you, may your days be filled with love and light always.

To learn how you can meditate please read my book Sæ-sii Meditation: How to Find Your Bliss in 15 Minutes a Day

Crying Voices Open Quiet Minds

A guiding light

When is the last time you seriously looked at the people who are suffering? They could be your neighbors, family members, acquaintances or strangers...but they are hurting.
My 10 year old granddaughter is fighting a very rare disease. I will include more info regarding this at the bottom of this post. She is not alone, there are so many people facing their own personal storms. You yourself have varying degrees of stressful situations you face daily. Where is your safe harbor of peace? How can you wade through the agony of daily chaos? It starts within.

I have had many trials in my life and there have been plenty of moments when I wanted to throw in the towel...life can be so un-bearing. It was when I began to meditate daily that I was able to see the glints of sun shining through the clouds. It was when I understood that meditation should be approached as a personal commitment to MYSELF. This is not a race - there are no blue ribbons. This is a way to help connect to a deep wisdom that lies within everyone - yes EVERYONE.

One of the most amazing discoveries was my yearning desire to help others. I thought I had embarked on this personal exploration to understand myself better.  But, as you begin to truly love yourself there is a natural desire to share this.  Meditation opens the quiet chambers of your mind to reveal the needs of others. Why? How? How can setting aside 15 silent minutes daily make you want to help others? You are clearing away the noise and debris of your busy world in order to hear others crying out. Those voices are connected to you and they are a part of you. By quieting your mind and heart you will learn to listen to your inner voice that has always guided you. The next step may be more difficult at first...learn to MOVE your thoughts into action and DO something about what you have heard. You will find that once you begin down this path more twists and turns will appear. Each path brings greater understanding and tremendous joy.

Begin today and look toward the sun shining through the clouds - follow that light and begin helping others to find their own harbors of inner peace.

The disease mentioned above is Pediatric Acute-onset Neuropsychiactric Syndrome (PANS). Triggered by “strep”, her immune system mistakenly attacks part of her brain confusing it with the strep antigen, thus creating a neurological inflammation causing her to have debilitating “episodes”. Her condition has deteriorated to the point that she is unable to attend school on a regular basis. She is currently writing a book to bring awareness to this disease and yes, she does meditate:)

Would you like to know how to meditate without any CDs, classes or books? HOW TO BEGIN.