Life After "Like"

Have you noticed the intense postings on social networks? They can be about their family, their jobs or their personal appearance. Some will post updates on a traumatic experience. Many truly are in crisis and feel they have no where to turn. It was in one of these such postings that I thought of my parents.

My dad was born in 1920 and my mom in 1925. Both have passed now, but while they walked the earth their journey was often littered with roadblocks. Alcoholism and gambling were no strangers in our household. Money was always and issue as there were 10 mouths to feed and a meager paycheck to rely on. The roof leaked continually and the heat never seemed to reach every room. I often heard my mother crying and watched my father fade into his bottles of beer. What would they have posted?
Would they have had the time? I wonder...

And what of me...what would I have said? Would I have had the courage to tell anyone…I sure wasn't able to then. Luckily the trials and tribulations became less and less as the addictions were addressed and peace pulled up a chair in their home…eventually. But still, would they really have shared this, probably not. Not because they didn't have some wonderful truths to impart, but most likely the internet never would have been a form of communication that they would ever become comfortable with. My parents probably would want to send them a card. If my father knew of the individual he would most likely want to send them a home cooked meal (he was a fantastic cook!) My parents used food to show their love. They both grew up very poor and having a meal meant the world to the them.

My heart truly goes out to some of the posts I have read. I see such heartache and turmoil. I hear and feel their pain and wonder what agony they must be in to post  things like "I can't and don't want to be me anymore, I hate myself, and I wish this would all go away." I want to encourage them, tell them they are not alone. But often I do not reply to their statements as I feel it seems to become a static that doesn't find its way through the storm. And so I usually, if I feel led, will contact them in a more personal way.

Somehow posting smiley faces, little hearts or worse yet… LIKE doesn't feel like a response I would want to receive.

And what about that LIKE? What does it mean? Does it mean that the person "likes" that you are in pain. Or is it a way to say, "I hear you and I feel for you--I validate what you have written." Who really knows? That is the point. The person hurting is left with never really knowing what was meant by "like."

Use integrity if you choose to respond. Use a careful attitude and do it in a loving way. Take responsibility for your actions. You can make a world of difference in someone's life by being a good listener. Just validating their pain and listening is very helpful. Most are not asking you to fix anything–they just want someone to know they are hurting.

I think there are many ways to reach out to someone and perhaps this social network is a place to do this. But as you continue along this path always remember that your words are powerful and yes even your clicking "like" has its meaning. Life continues after you hit that button for you and for the person who is struggling. Be love and light in this world and stop before you click and think of how you will be received.
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To learn how you can meditate please read my book Sæ-sii Meditation: How to Find Your Bliss in 15 Minutes a Day

Even Spiritually Minded People Un-Friend

I have been careful to surround myself in positive energy. Troubles come and go like storms washing through my life almost as often as they do around my home in The Florida Keys. Meditation brings that peace and calm that centers and grounds me and it is with this energy that I wish to reside. But how can I stay there when I come into contact with unfavorable energies that seem stuck in mud?

Finding that island of peace has helped me to grow and learn. My heart seems to expand each day opening my eyes to the needs of others, and I find myself venturing into uncharted waters. I was invited to join a social network group where like minded people encouraged and supported one another through good times and bad. I met some wonderful people and the dynamics of the group felt like a spiritual boost each time I stopped by. But something happened to the intention and focus of this group and like a small snowball it began rolling and growing until it became an unstoppable mound of negative energy. Snarky comments, snippets of anger couched in defensive statements reminded me of my dogmatic church days... and it all felt so wrong. People pointing fingers with accusations and as I tried to make sense of it... tried to remove myself from this anger I was reminded of what can happen to good ideas when you lose your passion of purpose.

As children we often found ourselves in situations when we felt unliked...unwanted. Maybe we were pushed aside by the older kids, maybe we felt we were unpopular or maybe we just gave up trying to fit in. Many of those children have grown up to raise children and grandchildren of their own. Perhaps even some of the people in your social network.  And here they are years later no longer on the school ground but in the internet playground. There is a disagreement and instead of working it out, understanding the lessons to be learned, challenges that need to be faced they do something that is much easier...they UN-friend you. It's something our parents and grandparents were never faced with and it can happen in a click of a keyboard. Like a slap in the face from someone you may never actually have met and only knew via a thumbnail icon on your screen. All trust vanished in a heartbeat. What can we learn from this?

Walk with integrity, continue to be true to yourself. Help one another and when negative energy starts to raise its ugly head- don't get wrapped up in it. Remain silent and meditate. Give yourself permission to cut the ties and move away. Even writing this blog I questioned if this was keeping the negative energy up in the air twirling like a plate on a stick. It is my hope that this post can help others to stop and think before they say or do something (like un-friending) that can truly cause others to feel less of themselves. Learn how to AGREE TO DISAGREE - and use it wisely in your relationships.

We're each on a journey and cross paths from time to time and hopefully it's to share the joy and blessings we find along our way.  We may stumble and fall... but we can pick ourselves up, brush away the dust and look ahead to a brighter future... one filled with strong winds, rough seas and sunny days. Peace to ALL of you, may your days be filled with love and light always.

To learn how you can meditate please read my book Sæ-sii Meditation: How to Find Your Bliss in 15 Minutes a Day