Red Coral Messenger

Living by the sea has taught me many lessons. I have learned that storms come bursting upon the scene without warning. The winds cause the ocean to heave and grown as the waves become whipped up in a frenzy. The birds take cover as the clouds grow darker. Much like the tempests that beset man time and again.

The storm ravages the sea bed and hurls it onto the beach. Marine creatures and plant life are ripped from the safety of their everyday lives. It is the natural rhythm...it is the heartbeat of our planet. The coming and the going. The birthing and the dying.

The storm begins to pass and the birds slowly return to forage on the bounty now washed upon the shore. They call to one another as they squabble for the choicest selections. The clouds quietly depart as the sun comes out from her hiding. The day returns not missing a moment or a second as the waves keep time sighing… in and out…in and out. Life goes on.

As we move forward along our journey we can begin to see that much like nature we too are carried along in the storms. We face the onslaught, the battering down and the recovery. A divorce, a loss of income, a death. Our emotions become swept up in all of this and if we are not careful we become ill.

Meditation is not the "end all be all" answer to our problems, but it is a wonderful tool that can help you weather the storms. There are days when your emotions are brimming and you cannot contain them, nor explain them. You are feeling this uncontrollable energy that overwhelms and ravages your sea bed and tosses it up upon the shore. Scattered memories, floating missed opportunities, and bits and pieces of dreams that will seemingly dissolve leaving you feeling empty and powerless.

If you find that you are waking daily to these overwhelming emotions then perhaps it is time to listen to your body as it is calling to you. Let them out yes, but connect with what they are telling you.

If you are able to sit beside a shore then find one. If you would rather do a walking meditation then find a body of water and slip into this energy–feel the natural pace as it connects to your heartbeat. If you cannot do this then find a natural sea sound audio file, put some headphones on and quietly let your mind float along the sounds of the waves. If you are able– look  for elements from the sea such as red coral, shells …anything from the sea that holds the natural energy to use it in meditation. Perhaps you live near a river, a waterfall, or even a park water fountain. Draw close to the energy of water. Soak in a tub, stand in the shower or find a pool and immerse yourself. Connect to water and all of the healing properties it holds.

After you locate your special place with water, begin meditating with purpose. If you are doing a walking meditation then simply do this with your eyes open – the method is still the same.
Begin with a prayer or invocation for protection and blessings and state your intention- "I would like to connect with the energy of water. Please help me to blend my spirit with the healing elements offered to me and allow me to hear the message it contains." Slowly begin breathing and feel the energy of the water. Let all thoughts dissolve away and just become one with the water. Stay in your meditation for 15 minutes. When you are finished say a prayer of appreciation to the water and the universe and close.

As a side-note, I like to use red coral as it has that wonderful property connected to our root chakra and provides an excellent grounding effect that is so necessary when dealing with emotions.

The universe has provided many ways to find inner peace. Meditation is a simple tool that can be used by all ages. You can do this with music, in silence with your eyes open or shut. Some do this alone or in a group. It's not important which method you choose– only that you DO IT.

To learn more about the meditation style I teach, please read my book.

The Fabric of Death

The unexpected death of her husband has left my sister hanging on a thread. They were supposed to spend their 40th wedding anniversary together this past weekend, but sadly there will be no more celebrations of this kind. The grieving process although necessary feels as if I am watching her slowly fade away. She has tried counseling but feels so disconnected that she no longer attempts to share her pain. If you have ever been around someone like this, you can attest to the ache within your own heart as you watch helplessly knowing it's a personal journey. (To learn more about this tragedy please read.)

Last spring when this occurred I was compelled to move my office into her home and I lived with her for 6 weeks. It was during this endeavor when I saw first-hand how the body goes into shock and denial. She would wake each morning hoping it had all been a bad dream. She stopped eating or caring and her nurturing spirit turned towards her beloved pets. Now she fears they too will get sick and leave her alone with her thoughts.

It was during his funeral as she was searching through his belongings when the idea first struck me. I had meditated the night before he had passed and he had spoken to me. I asked him how I could help his wife and his reply came very clearly.

"Hold her. She is a strong woman that can do anything in this world, but she cannot hold herself."

As she was rummaging through his things looking for his policeman's badge I looked at all of his shirts with tiny golf emblems on them. As a retired police chief he had moved into his next profession as a caddy master at a local golf course. His closet told the story. Policeman's emblems embroidered on jackets to country club insignias adorning his shirts. These would make a beautiful quilt, I thought. She could take this quilt and wrap herself in him. He could hold her once more.

Pattie proudly displays her handiwork

And so I spoke with my other sister Pattie, the one born with a needle and thread in her hand, and asked if she would help. Susan and Pattie have never really been close and I wasn't really sure how this would turn out. They are both talented seamstresses. I held my breath hoping Susan would agree to this, after all we were cutting up his clothes. Susan was honored that Pattie would take the project on. I sat back knowing my role was the bridge that had come up with the idea and had put the two of them together.

Pattie had to work with whatever Susan gave her— ties, shirts, jackets and even his pajamas. She cut, measured and hand-sewed non-stop committing all of her spare time to this amazing feat.

Meanwhile I arranged to have a sister's weekend in my home. All three came to spend some relaxing time in sunny Florida... this event happened to fall on the non-celebrated 40th wedding anniversary.  Susan needed us and all four sisters gathered to support her. There were tears and laughter and healing as we blended together and supported one another.

I had forgotten about the quilt as I knew it would take Pattie until springtime to finish it. But I was wrong. As Susan sat limp with emotions and tried her best to smile through her pain, Pattie handed her a package. Susan opened it with trembling hands and cried tears of joy. The quilt is a masterpiece and with it comes healing. Healing for a woman that is grieving for her husband, healing for two sisters that have never really connected. The fabric is woven from memories that will embrace our sister Susan and help bring some comfort to her broken heart. I felt myself overcome as well as I remembered when the idea was first given to me...did Lee help plan this? Was he whispering to me that day?

The next morning my youngest sister Dotsi did a meditation at dawn.
"I was doing my meditation,"  she said, "and seeing lovely colors and I was waiting for what the images would become when a stupid song kept playing. It was a Bee Gee's song and it really was bothering me as it kept interrupting my meditation."
"What was the song?" I asked.
"Something about emotions," she replied.
And so I did a quick search on the web and found the lyrics Dotsi had heard being sung as she was sharing a bed near our sleeping sister Susan.
In the words of a broken heart
It's just emotion that's taken me over
Tied up in sorrow, lost in my soul
But if you don't come back
Come home to me, darling
You know that there'll be nobody left in this world to hold me tight
Nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight
Goodnight
Goodnight

It now holds her every night.

Meditation is a wondrous thing to experience. I am now encouraging my grieving sister to try again. She had stopped as she feared being alone with her sorrow. I believe meditation has given me a clear channel to be able to act upon inspiring thoughts coming to me from my Higher-Self. I believe it gave Susan the ability to be held once more.
To learn how you can use meditation to enrich your life please read How to Begin.

A Holiday in Mourning

"But this wasn't how it was supposed to be...he wasn't supposed to die."
"Yes, but he was very sick."
"But how will we go on without him?"
"I'm not sure I don't have the answers."
"But we thought we had forever."
"You still have a future."
"I don't want this one- I don't want this day."
"What do you want?"
"I want him back."
"What would you say to him?"
"So many things... how much I loved him, LOVE him, what sharing a life with him meant to me."
"Do you tell him this now?"
"Yes." Tears falling reaching for a tissue. "I do but he doesn't answer back."
"Can you still feel his presence?"
"Yes, but I don't know how to go one- he's so close but I can't touch him."
"And your family and loved ones that are still here?"
"They can't help me- they are grieving themselves- we are all a mess...and Christmas is coming."
"Yes, it is."
"I can't begin to think how I will be able to celebrate this ever again."
"Maybe you can take a break from holidays- maybe have an Un-Holiday this year."
"And do what?"
"Maybe volunteer to help others- maybe visit a shut-in, work in a shelter. Give."
"But my heart is broken."
"I know."
"I don't know how to do this."
"No one does."
"He loved Christmas so much."
"Did he?"
"Yes, he just loved all of us so much."
"He still does."
"Yes." More tears, more tissues.
"It's a new day. A new road before you. I can't walk it for you, but I will hold your hand and be there when you need me."
"Thanks, this means a lot."
"Keep talking to him and take time to meditate."
"I'm afraid of being alone with my thoughts."
"Then stop thinking and turn it off and sit in silence."
"I saw a hawk. Remember how we saw a hawk during his memorial service? One lone hawk circling low?"
"Yes."
"Every time I see a hawk I think of him- as if it's somehow spiritually connected."
"How does this make you feel?"
"As if he is somehow communicating- but I'm not sure what it's trying to tell me."
"But how do you feel when you see the hawk?"
Blessed."
"Then meditate on this and embrace this blessing."

Yesterday was Thanksgiving Day. While she was cooking beside her children I took the dogs for a walk. A lone hawk slowly circled directly over her home. I stopped and looked up and was reminded of this spiritual connection.

We all need to look up and embrace life and the loved ones that are still living and breathing beside us. Yes life here on earth is short- but we are blessed abundantly by the connection with the world around us. Look up and feel this blessing. If you know of someone who is grieving please take the time to validate their pain- BE LOVE and be a blessing to others.

To learn how you can meditate please read my book Sæ-sii Meditation: How to Find Your Bliss in 15 Minutes a Day