A Holiday in Mourning

"But this wasn't how it was supposed to be...he wasn't supposed to die."
"Yes, but he was very sick."
"But how will we go on without him?"
"I'm not sure I don't have the answers."
"But we thought we had forever."
"You still have a future."
"I don't want this one- I don't want this day."
"What do you want?"
"I want him back."
"What would you say to him?"
"So many things... how much I loved him, LOVE him, what sharing a life with him meant to me."
"Do you tell him this now?"
"Yes." Tears falling reaching for a tissue. "I do but he doesn't answer back."
"Can you still feel his presence?"
"Yes, but I don't know how to go one- he's so close but I can't touch him."
"And your family and loved ones that are still here?"
"They can't help me- they are grieving themselves- we are all a mess...and Christmas is coming."
"Yes, it is."
"I can't begin to think how I will be able to celebrate this ever again."
"Maybe you can take a break from holidays- maybe have an Un-Holiday this year."
"And do what?"
"Maybe volunteer to help others- maybe visit a shut-in, work in a shelter. Give."
"But my heart is broken."
"I know."
"I don't know how to do this."
"No one does."
"He loved Christmas so much."
"Did he?"
"Yes, he just loved all of us so much."
"He still does."
"Yes." More tears, more tissues.
"It's a new day. A new road before you. I can't walk it for you, but I will hold your hand and be there when you need me."
"Thanks, this means a lot."
"Keep talking to him and take time to meditate."
"I'm afraid of being alone with my thoughts."
"Then stop thinking and turn it off and sit in silence."
"I saw a hawk. Remember how we saw a hawk during his memorial service? One lone hawk circling low?"
"Yes."
"Every time I see a hawk I think of him- as if it's somehow spiritually connected."
"How does this make you feel?"
"As if he is somehow communicating- but I'm not sure what it's trying to tell me."
"But how do you feel when you see the hawk?"
Blessed."
"Then meditate on this and embrace this blessing."

Yesterday was Thanksgiving Day. While she was cooking beside her children I took the dogs for a walk. A lone hawk slowly circled directly over her home. I stopped and looked up and was reminded of this spiritual connection.

We all need to look up and embrace life and the loved ones that are still living and breathing beside us. Yes life here on earth is short- but we are blessed abundantly by the connection with the world around us. Look up and feel this blessing. If you know of someone who is grieving please take the time to validate their pain- BE LOVE and be a blessing to others.

To learn how you can meditate please read my book Sæ-sii Meditation: How to Find Your Bliss in 15 Minutes a Day