Man Made Hell = Man Made Fear Conclusion

continued...

The Down And Dirty Church was the last one I attended. It was a place filled with broken people, some fighting addiction and others just sick of the other churches on the menu. This wasn't a church my parents would have understood at all. There were no pews anywhere...only round tables with tattered people drinking coffee and sharing their troubles. Some were dressed in their finest and some were homeless and rarely bathed. It didn't matter to anyone what they looked like... they all blended together. I was humbled by the many acts of kindness I witnessed and yet I still remember the frustration of the pastor as he stood speaking to the people regarding the war in Iraq. He said "People wake up, don't you realize that there are mothers and fathers of our enemies that are praying to God as well to save their children from our armies? Don't you get it? God is not American and he isn't a democrat nor a republican." The people shook their heads, as this was too hard to fathom. How could God not answer our prayers and save our children? God was a Christian after all and of course He was pulling for our side…wasn’t He?

As a freelance artist I worked for many clients. In 2004 the local Jewish Community Center hired me part time creating brochures, logos and some ads. The phone rang again and suddenly I was working for a magazine called the Friends of Israel, it was a Christian magazine that was started in the 1940's to fight anti-Semitism. So, oddly enough I found my week split between these two dynamic passionate organizations. It was through this connection that I was able to arrange a meeting and they actually sat down together (unheard of in my neck of the woods) to share ideas on how they could work together. Funny, looking back at this I remember feeling as if I was some sort of ambassador - for people rather than doctrine. And then to my surprise the Jewish leaders sent me to Israel to work as an artist with their sister organization teaching them my graphic skills. Nineteen people of Jewish faith and me...the un-Jew. The leader of the organization I was attending with, asked me to lead Shabbat on the southern part of the wall in Jerusalem. Huh? I asked, hello I'm not a Rabbi and by the way I'm a woman...why me? "Because you are the most spiritual," he said. He got this impression most likely because the touring bus we were riding in would often hear me cry out “Hang on, we need to make a pit stop…Jesus did a miracle over there.” This of course made them think I was a Jesus Freak and I explained to them that my faith in God was not a religion I followed but actually just my way of life. I tried to spread that light wherever I went.  I continued in my hope that men would see past their dogmatic beliefs in their personal views of who or what God was and just learn to truly help one another. I quit the church and watched many friendships evaporate almost instantly. I am still a bit surprised by this. All of their preaching about God is love and love thy neighbor only to be tossed aside like stale wine. All of their talk of helping their communities while they pushed for bigger recreation facilities for their church members. All their talk of unemployment rising as they organized ski trips and fancy social gatherings. Incredible yet very true and still continuing.
I then walked with uncertainty...would God punish me? Would I now be counted with all of those poor sinners that were going to hell? I was taught since birth that I was born with sin and needed the blood of Jesus to wash me clean in order to be accepted by God. But now I was naked and I no longer prayed to the big J. He seemed to me a man that some powerful people put up front as a deity to make themselves more worthy than others.

Soon after my trip to Israel I developed a severe pain in my right leg. I went to many specialists and it grew worse. Two years went by and still the pain remained. On the off chance that some herbal hippie might be able to help me, I attended a symposium in northern California. Unknowingly, this was my first step toward breaking free of a belief system that had imprisoned me since birth. Something happened to me there that is still hard to explain. Let's just say I met a woman who gave me an energy massage that opened my eyes to looking deeper within. She spoke of seeing my aura, my guides and how strong I was spiritually. Um...yeah, sure right. She told me I was to ask the voice within to lead me to learn how to connect with my higher conscious and that it would all be told to me. This sounded like gypsy talk to me and I smiled and left her little tent thinking she was probably high on weed. She said she had spoken with my guides and that I was a very strong healer. Yeah? Well then why the hell was my leg racked with chronic pain? Healer... me? Maybe she didn't dial in the stars and line up the moons correctly... or maybe one of her crystals had a crack in it.

Two months later the pain had miraculously vanished and I was meditating daily. I started to listen and tune in and I became aware that a tiny voice that I had thought was just random had actually been with me as a small child. When life was hard and my parents were fighting I used to go to my special thinking spot and this voice comforted me. Years later when I was in an abusive relationship this voice helped to lead me to safety. I never gave it much attention; it was just always there. 

Through meditation I was able to understand who these guides were and now I ask and receive amazing insight.  I have learned that God is not an entity in human form. God IS. Lord IS. Source IS. All of this is not for one country or one species. We are ALL connected in this love of IS. Every blade of grass, every mountain, every grain of sand and every drop of water IS a part of this and every time I look into the eyes of my pet I am looking into the eyes of God or whatever you call Source. And every time I look into the mirror I am seeing a part of IS, wow, that alone would have rocked the church into burning me at the stake most likely…and in New Jersey too!   

I was able to break free from the rules and regulations and words all written by man and seek this connection to the Spirits that walk beside me. No heaven or hell to fear only love and truth in knowing life is eternal. Yes, I have been visited many times by those that have crossed over (including my family and loved ones) and each time I am left with a morsel of realization. This connection to my higher conscious has allowed me to love myself in a way I have never experienced. I am worthy, I am beautiful and I have so much love to give to others.

For the many, many people that continue in their religious quest I take nothing away from that and I do not wish to have you think I have negativity towards you. Each of us has our own journey. For me I no longer live in fear of a man made deity that will smite me if I do not keep in step. I will continue to try and spread this love of myself to the planet around me. My connection to the spirit world is not new, I have always known that I would not die. I understood at a very young age that my physical self would expire yet my spirit would continue. Thoughts are... after all... LIVING THINGS. I got a little confused when I started to listen to the teachings and writings of a world where fear was used to control my thoughts and make others more powerful- after all they use our energy to make themselves greater. But that is in the past and I am able to give my energy to a planet that is crying out to all. It is through this connection to IS that I am able to move easily toward fulfilling my passion of purpose. Every day is a new challenge and every day I face a new understanding. I am so thankful I was able to escape from the man made hell and release myself from the fear that kept me from truly finding the love that awaits all of us...and it starts within.

Yes, I took a slight detour from my meditation experiences, but since most of this writing came through while meditating I wanted to bring it into the light:)
To learn how you can meditate without any CD's or guides please read Meditate for FREE

Artists Who Have Crossed Over Part 2

Me working on Alex Toth art

Continuing on from my last blog. I am not alone in channeling energies - this has been going on for centuries. Man wakes and creates each day. From the smallest things such as how you arrange the furniture in your home or how you prepare a meal - there is a process of moving thought into action. It's in the times when you quiet your mind and clear away the debris that you can sometimes come away with profound inspiration. Where does this come from? Many would say- from yourself, and they would be correct, some would say your Spirit or your higher consciousness. Both are possible, but so is connecting with loving guides who want to assist. This assistance can only come by asking, something I would never had considered before as a professional artist.

As a young girl I could always see the object, draw it, paint it... whatever, I just moved with it. As an adult I continue to build on this experience and experiment with different mediums. I have created bouquets of sculpted fruits and vegetables -  art with fabric, wood and even broken dishes. Why have I tried a gazillion different ways and what leads me down those paths? I cannot say for sure, but I'm beginning to request assistance from my guides:)

Alex Toth Volumes 1, 2, 3

I have progressed through many phases of my career and now, as I have stated in my past post, my work brings me to a place where my focus is on artists from the last century. I collect and gather their hard to acquire artwork and design books filled with these precious gems. These artists may not be familiar to many, after all, the current generation is more interested in the world of pop stars, the gods that rule the sports-world or the hottest video games. The artists I work with lived during the time when newspapers cartoonists were kings. Some of the books I currently produce: Chester Gould's - Dick Tracey, Milton Caniff's - Terry and the Pirates, Harold Gray's - Little Orphan Annie, Alex Raymond's - Flash Gordon and finally Alex Toth. Toth's list of credits is so long we had to break it into 3 volumes. It would be too difficult to list them all in this post, (I'll put a link at the bottom) but he did brilliant storyboards for Disney's Zorro and many Hanna-Barbera cartoons such as Space Ghost.

Before and After of Jon Fury strip by Alex Toth

I spent hours and hours working on Volume 1 Genius Isolated. Images were found of a rare newspaper strip he did while in the military. He created "Jon Fury" and it was distributed among his fellow soldiers in a camp newletter. The story was about a dashing detective that drove a fast car and always got the girl. As his career progressed and he became famous, these early strips were never published. They were seen by the men stationed in the military and collectors who hunted them, but for the most part a complete set was never released for viewing - until now.  I was given the task of scanning and cleaning the smudges and placing them in order so that they could be viewed as they were in the 1950's. I did the best I could and we inserted them into the book, among hundreds of other sketches and drawings he created throughout his career. My next task was to take all of the family photos we had borrowed, some cracked, many faded, some with huge creases and restore them. So many unseen photos. There was even a rare photo of he and his mom and dad. He was a small boy and it was difficult to see Alex as it was a very dark image. I worked on that using the skills I have learned though many many years of photo restoration and brought it to life the best I could. I found another image of Alex when he was in high school. It was creased and his eyes seemed dull, just a worn old photo. I worked on this and was particularly happy that I was able to give some spark to him and I remember telling my co-worker my main goal was not to fix the tears in the image, but to restore the glint in his eyes. The book was completed, sent to the printer and that was that...

Alex Toth's high school photo

Two months later I contacted a wonderful medium Bernie Scott who lives in the UK. I learned of her through the wonderful work of Mick and Sylvie Avery who gave me insight into my akashik records, but that's another story:)  Bernie's expertise lies in connecting individuals that have crossed over with those of us desiring to communicate. I was once again reunited with my parents, my brother and a good friend that passed in his 30's. I laughed as my dad was even collecting all the pets that have crossed and Bernie named them one by one- Cassie, Ashley even fish from my nephew's aquarium, what a delight.

I had meditated long before my reading and sent my thoughts to ask questions, never revealing them to Bernie. The answers flowed through in a natural rhythm and I was overcome with emotion. I was hoping to move past all the spirits assuring me of their identity and we did... and then some! It was quite refreshing. It was near the end that Bernie began to ask me about my work with newspaper artists. It threw me a bit, as I was not focusing my attention in this direction. She began to describe a gentlemen that was wishing to make contact with me. She gave his description, the circumstances surrounding his death and none of it registered at all with me. She spoke in what seemed like riddles- how I took broken images and put them together like a mosaic. I actually love doing ceramic mosaic work so I though she was speaking of this. She continued to talk and said he wants to "thank you for the tribute you are doing for him." This meant nothing to me. He wants to tell you how "healing and therapeutic your work is and how much he appreciates the work you are doing." Still I sat there listening as if she was getting a message that was meant for someone else. Maybe Bernie's wires were crossed... and then she said something that brought me to tears...
he particularly wants to thank you for the "work you did on his eyes... he loves what you did on his eyes."

And so each day at dawn as I begin my meditation I ask for protection, blessing and a little help from my friends. Help in finding new ways to spread that joy to the people that walk among me and to those that have crossed over. I am so honored to be able to give joy to artists such as Alex Toth. It has given me that extra assurance that not only does my work bring pleasure to the readers of today, but I bring light and love to the artists of yesteryear who are cheering me on. I am doubly blessed and for this and hope that others will stop and take notice of all that they do. We continue to bless others long after they have passed. I hope you find as much comfort in this as I have. To learn how you can meditate please read my book Sæ-sii Meditation: How to Find Your Bliss in 15 Minutes a Day
To learn more about Alex Toth please follow this link.

Messages of Artists Who Have Crossed Over Part 1

Cliff Sterret's work

For most of my life I have been a professional artist. I have worked with many clients. Some were local backyard mom and pop businesses, some were huge corporations. I am a freelance artist who has designed tv commercials, logos, billboards and graphics of every description. Let's just say I have enjoyed a very diverse career and now find myself embarking on a new twist. I have connected with artists from the other side of the veil.

I designed this cover

In the spring of 2009 I began working with archival newspaper cartoonists of the early 1900's. This was a time in our world when there was no tv, no internet, no ebooks, no iphones...it was a world of radio and newspapers. My work is in the restoration of this beautiful form of art and placing it into volumes of books that readers of today can view and learn from. The artists were masters of their craft, such as Cliff Sterret, (seen here) - using their raw talents of pen and ink without the benefit of cut and paste, undo or save. The source of my work is often found in dusty old attics as a generation fades away and the contents of their treasure chests are brought out into the light. Many people can only glimpse the work of these great artists, as collectors gobble them up on ebay or trade shows hording them away or selling them to the highest bidder. They are precious and some of the price tags on these gems reflect it. I, along with a team of others, scan them and make them into digital files. They are placed in a chronological order so the viewer can read them- just as they were meant to be seen after being picked up from front door stoops and opened every morning. I usually have to digitally clean them to bring them back to life. Often newspaper strips are faded and cracked and I smooth out the wrinkles and erase the dirt they have accumulated (some over 90 years). I have become an expert photo restorationist and my talents are put to good use as I am called upon to add old images of the artist into each book. These photos are collected from all over the world and many are personal images on loan from family members. Looking at these fantastic old family photos of the early teens gives depth to the artist and I somehow feel connected. I never knew just how connected that would become.

My meditations often bring me to a place where I am given messages. I have always journaled my messages and love looking at them months later. It was through this experience that I was given this realization and my gift.
Meditation message:  "Your work is therapuetic and healing to the soul. You were brought into alignment to be able to use your talents to bring forth the work of artists who no longer walk among us. "
This at first sounded like some flowery compliment, but I am beginning to understand that the artists of the books I am working on are watching me. I thought the theraputic and healing was for the many people here on earth who are enjoying reading these collections, but clearly they are truly for the spirits who view their work disintegrating into dust - I am bringing them joy. This has opened my heart to an understanding that they stand at my shoulder cheering me on.

Sterret's Polly and Her Pals ran 1912 - 1958

The newspaper will become a tool of the past, as we are witnessing. The age of the book is uncertain and no one knows where this will lead. Books stores are closing worldwide and libraries are having their budgets cut as I write. So, as you can see, recovering and restoring art from old newspapers is a type of rescue work. This is a new dimension of my career that I had never dreamed of.

In my next blog I will speak of the message I received from a wonderful cartoonist Alex Toth. Part 2 Artists Who Have Crossed Over

To learn how you can meditate read my book Sæ-sii Meditation: How to Find Your Bliss in 15 Minutes a Day