Alone Following a Break-Up 2

Troubled waters

continued from Alone Following a Break-up
Learning to overcome things that kept me from wanting to explore my "alone-ness" took months. I had to learn the technique of "mind-shift" in order to move my thoughts from the captive state of  "flight or fight" to trust and believe. Meditation helped connect me to the invisible guardians watching over… allowing me to feel safe and protected.

It was hard to move through this transition of loving myself more and appreciating the alone time. I had avoided caring for myself for many years as I kept busy with the needs of others. Insomnia had kept me hidden behind my books and sleep deprivation dulled my brain. I was ignoring my inner-voice  and doing a damn good job of it.  I was miserable, why would I want to keep company with ME? My thoughts were certainly not positive, they were more like self-pity. I didn't show this persona to the world, and most thought I was a happy being. It was only when I was alone with my thoughts that my facade would crumble. And that is where I would have remained if I hadn't learned to look within.

Abundant opportunities

When you try to move forward after a break-up often you feel it might all be better if you could return again to the relationship, or maybe find a new object for your affections. But by taking this alone time and quieting the negative thoughts I was able to find the me that had been buried beneath despair. It had been so long since I had tuned into me. What was I passionate about? What made my heart sing? What caused distress and worry? What brought me fits of laughter or silent tears? What were my favorite foods, songs or hobbies – I really had not taken the time to examine any of this.  Meditation began to strip away the thoughts I had allowed to creep in like poison ivy that were strangling my beautiful self. My inner-voice allowed me to find the creativity that had been stifled, the voice that was trapped as a lump in my throat and the forced smile now spread more naturally as I dried my eyes.

This pathway is mine, but the story may be similar to yours. You may walk this road with others by your side or choose to go it alone. One is not better then the other and tuning into your own heart's desire will allow you to feel which road is best for you. I now treasure my silence and honor this wonderful journey.

My relationship with my family and friends is far richer for discovering this me that was hidden.

To learn more how you can find your inner-voice please read How to Begin.

Meditation Mojo

Why would anyone want to sit in silence and think of NOTHING?Meditate. meditate |ˈmedəˌtāt|
verb [ intrans. ]
focus one’s mind for a period of time, in silence or with the aid of chanting, for religious or spiritual purposes or as a method of relaxation.  (Oxford Dictionary)
As I am beginning to look for a desirable location to teach meditation in my community, I am realizing that some people have some preconceived ideas about what exactly they will learn.

There are many forms that have different titles and if you do a search you will find various methods. I teach Sæ-sii meditation. It is not religious and does not require any belief system other than the fact that you desire to "let go" of all thought. Thought is a living thing and if you hold on to it you cannot be sure if the garden you have just imagined is in fact a spiritual journey or your imagination. I do not wish to place any ill thoughts toward other methods in stating this, it is a matter for you to choose what works for you.

Meditation can be achieved in many ways and in teaching this I respect that chanting or sitting in a certain position may be something that others find valuable. I teach a method that requires no music, no guided audio or instructor and no visionary cues. Why do I choose this method? Because I can go to my inner harbor of peace...and that is exactly where I go... at any given time. I can go while I sit in an airport and someone is talking non-stop on their cell phone. I can go when I am waiting in a doctor's office or sitting under a hairdryer at a salon while a television spouting non-stop negativity is placed before me. How? Because I have learned to switch off my mind without the need of any aids or devices or special seating posture.

How often should you meditate and for how long?
When I first embarked upon this I was exploring different techniques and I was meditating at least an hour a day and honestly I often just fell asleep. I tried videos, candles, music and read books and I began to feel nothing but frustration. Why couldn't I have these "magical" experiences...what was wrong with me? That's when I realized I needed to stop everything I was doing. All of this reading, watching, listening was just making my mind more active with the very thing I was trying to let go of... THOUGHT.
Now I sit in total silence in a comfortable position in the same room every day at approximately the same time for no longer than 15 mins. I say a prayer for protection (for step by step details see link below), I set my intention and then I allow my mind to come to complete rest. If anything floats in and I begin to give it attention than I am NOT meditating I am thinking, and so I will pull away from it and say "later...scoot" and then I just rest comfortably. When I first started doing this it was for mere seconds...than a minute...now it is 15. By doing this you are disconnecting to the chattering input of your brain and allowing your higher conscious to communicate with you. You may not even be aware of it, and that is the beauty of it. Your realization will come at other moments in your day when you are inspired and are able to move with confidence knowing your actions are purposeful and lead to a higher good for you and others.

All of my teaching centers upon how to move thought into action by NOT THINKING. Sounds bizarre huh? Well actually it is a process that takes time but once you begin to "let go" of all thought you will be able to open the door to your subconscious. I cannot describe what that will be like for you, as each of us is unique. Your experiences will be vastly different from mine as they will be from others you may encounter.

It is what YOU experience and what you learn from YOUR higher self that will give you the greatest joy. Meditation allows you to strip away the layers of day to day activity and have a connection to someone that loves you beyond measure...yourself and of course the guides that walk with you daily.
I hope to open my meditation studio very soon. The goal is to help others move their thoughts into action by the vehicle of their beautiful SELF guidance. They will be meditating in their own space at their own time and they will not need a group. The instruction will be giving them the confidence to make this effort to apply this to their daily walk as it will help them to move with their passion of purpose.

To learn how you can meditate please read my book Sæ-sii Meditation: How to Find Your Bliss in 15 Minutes a Day

Update: This was written in 2012. I now meditate twice daily for 15 minutes. Everyone has a time that works best for them, mine is at dawn and around 3pm. I have taught many workshops and I have written a book on meditation that will be published very soon. Meditation brings self-love that spreads world wide, I am ever the student of this magnificent ALL THAT IS.