Southwest Spirits Calling

I was told to go to the Southwest as there was treasure awaiting me. And so my partner Dean and I loaded up the van and began a 12 day journey from FL to CA. I gathered art supplies, a book I had recently published, Calico Horses and the Patchwork Trail, and some camping supplies.

Meditation: I was given a very strong message from a guide who felt different then any I have ever met. "No more doubting, no more questioning, no more struggling over choices - only DOING. You are now prepared to GO and DO. Do not question if we are with you...KNOW and BELIEVE and TRUST. You are to BE positive affirmation as you wake each day and say "hello world, what can I do today?" You are to spread this, teach this to ALL people of ALL races. If it is about smoking 1 less cigarette for one, or thinking one less self destructive thought for another it is a path to self love. Positive affirmation means moving that positive thought into action. This message is to be shared. You are all to begin every day with a positive affirmation speaking aloud what you will DO. If it is about changing a direction of thought then begin today to move in this direction- today I can BE positive, today I can BE love. So many hurting, look around, so many impoverished minds...Help bring a fresh wind to a stagnant world. Each of you is equipped to do much more - no more waiting, doubting only DOING. Blessings to ALL."

 

This journey has brought me the most beautiful gifts. They come in the form of new relationships with people, the land, the animals and the energy connecting it all. Although I thought my purpose was bringing students the free gift of art, and I am…what they are GIVING in return far outweighs it.

 This connection feels as if my heart is in tune with the heartbeat of the earth. It has helped me become more grounded as I bathe in its wisdom.

Each day I meditate in silence giving thanks for ALL that IS. The overwhelming sense of LOVE is in the air I breathe.

I look forward to traveling to Lompoc, CA next weekend, where I will meet the wild horses that were stripped from the Calico Mountains of NV and now roam safely within the ranges of the Return to Freedom Mustang Sanctuary.

I am blessed to be able to do this work and I do not take it lightly, it is an honor. All of my efforts are to help raise awareness and funds to the plight of these wild sentient beings fighting for survival. If I can leave them with one lesson let it be this–ALL of us can help one another, we all have gifts, it just takes MOVING THOUGHTS INTO ACTION. To be continued...

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The meditation above came while touring the country as I am giving away free art lessons to children/parents to help raise awareness to plight of wild horses and burros rounded up sold for slaughter... (here is my schedule) http://www.calicohorses.com/Meditation.html

To learn more about meditation please read Meditation Mojo.

Alone Following a Break-Up 2

Troubled waters

continued from Alone Following a Break-up
Learning to overcome things that kept me from wanting to explore my "alone-ness" took months. I had to learn the technique of "mind-shift" in order to move my thoughts from the captive state of  "flight or fight" to trust and believe. Meditation helped connect me to the invisible guardians watching over… allowing me to feel safe and protected.

It was hard to move through this transition of loving myself more and appreciating the alone time. I had avoided caring for myself for many years as I kept busy with the needs of others. Insomnia had kept me hidden behind my books and sleep deprivation dulled my brain. I was ignoring my inner-voice  and doing a damn good job of it.  I was miserable, why would I want to keep company with ME? My thoughts were certainly not positive, they were more like self-pity. I didn't show this persona to the world, and most thought I was a happy being. It was only when I was alone with my thoughts that my facade would crumble. And that is where I would have remained if I hadn't learned to look within.

Abundant opportunities

When you try to move forward after a break-up often you feel it might all be better if you could return again to the relationship, or maybe find a new object for your affections. But by taking this alone time and quieting the negative thoughts I was able to find the me that had been buried beneath despair. It had been so long since I had tuned into me. What was I passionate about? What made my heart sing? What caused distress and worry? What brought me fits of laughter or silent tears? What were my favorite foods, songs or hobbies – I really had not taken the time to examine any of this.  Meditation began to strip away the thoughts I had allowed to creep in like poison ivy that were strangling my beautiful self. My inner-voice allowed me to find the creativity that had been stifled, the voice that was trapped as a lump in my throat and the forced smile now spread more naturally as I dried my eyes.

This pathway is mine, but the story may be similar to yours. You may walk this road with others by your side or choose to go it alone. One is not better then the other and tuning into your own heart's desire will allow you to feel which road is best for you. I now treasure my silence and honor this wonderful journey.

My relationship with my family and friends is far richer for discovering this me that was hidden.

To learn more how you can find your inner-voice please read How to Begin.

Alone Following a Break-Up

I never thought I would find myself alone, after all I was born into a overcrowded family and married at the age of 18… having personal space was a luxury. But that marriage dissolved and my inability to be alone probably counts for the many unsuccessful relationships that followed. Oh sure, there were many other reasons and I don't mean to be glib about this, but the truth of the matter is that I did NOT know how to love myself– let alone others. And so in the year 2007 I did something that made a lot of people think I was crazy...I hit the RESET button and said NO MORE.

It wasn't like I woke up one day and said, hey Lorraine you need to love yourself. No, it was more like a feeling of emptiness. Something off, something missing and it was very deep. By this stage of my life I had raised three children and was now a grandparent. I had lived a role for others and in doing so, lost a bit of me. How? Aren't we supposed to be dutiful parents and give ourselves 24 hours a day to the needs of our offspring? And what about our grown parents, are we not supposed to drop everything and care for them as they become more needy? This is the the correct path, so why wasn't I happy? I adored my children and had a warm, loving relationship with my parents (they are both now in spirit). But I spent years battling insomnia and depression, and to be quite honest I was hoping some mornings I would just leave and go quietly into the spirit world... but that was then.

Hitting the reset button helped me to discover self-love. It wasn't easy contacting the lawyer and starting the divorce procedure, telling my kids I needed to start fresh, or telling my aging mother that I would call when I was settled. But you know what…it was pretty easy to quit my high-paying job, and swap all of my jewelry for cash. Yes, that part felt right, it felt solid, it felt like a huge GREEN LIGHT!

And so at the age of 52 I was finally alone. I drove 1400 miles to Key West, FL and found a tiny space I could barely afford. I came with the items I could stuff into my tiny car. No furniture, no pots or pans, no linen…just my laptop, art supplies and some summer clothes and flip-flops.

Bedroom/art studio

My new job paid me about the same hourly rate I earned in 1973 and let me tell you, it was day to day, penny to penny living. My furniture came from trash picks and yard sales. But little by little my tiny space began to feel like a palace. I was learning the importance of silence. I was learning what made me uncomfortable, happy, irritable, excited, bored… I was learning who Lorraine the person was. Not the mother, daughter, sister or friend person I had been, but the bubbling energetic child that had been squashed for a long time. I want to make it very clear that I hold no ill feelings or blame anyone, I am merely stating a fact that I was NOT BEING TRUE TO MYSELF.

My perfect tiny space

As I began spending time alone I found there were bits and pieces of me that I either wanted to examine further or discard. But how…where do you begin? It was then that I discovered the magic of being alone. At first it felt lonely, and I was wondering if I had traded my insomnia for a new zip code. I now had a new problem, I was afraid of the dark and every bump in the night. Florida had geckos, eww, creepy little things that crawled into every crevice. I DON'T DO CREEPY THINGS! I came from a quiet suburban neighborhood with squirrels and blue jays. Now I had to dodge iguanas and don't even get me started about the Key West chickens, they are as common as palm trees crowing every time someone turns a light on. So how alone was I exactly?
to be continued... Part 2

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To learn about meditation please read Meditation Mojo
Art for a cause.