Just Dive In…You'll Learn to Swim Later

Survival. As we continue to face economic hardships, mounting health problems and global warming where can we look for guidance? Should we look to the media with its parroted news flashes bought and paid for by corporate leaders? Should we look to government officials that are sitting upon their thrones of authority, clearly they must have the answers. Or perhaps we should just follow the paths of our ancestors and stick close to the wisdom of the family tree, after all this takes the pressure off of actually thinking for ourselves. How about following your intuition?

in·tu·i·tion

noun

intuition

the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.

How can anyone hear themselves glued to TV, Internet, I-Devices and the daily addiction to social media?

Throughout my life I faced many storms and I do not pretend to know all of the answers, but I have learned to navigate the turbulence by tuning in. Can intuition really be a tool we can use for survival? Of course and it begins with meditation. I have included a simple link on How to Begin below.

Life disasters such as job loss, divorce, a death in the family, illness, depression, etc. can appear upon your horizon like a turbulent storm. With it comes a tremendous life altering calamity, that for many, may seem beyond their ability to survive. They may turn to family and friends for advice, cruise the internet, ask their community leaders— but in truth, they must make personal decisions by following their gut. We must learn to exercise this ability to soften the static input and listen to the guidance waiting within.

Anxiety and self doubt stop many in their tracks. They spend hours, days…years listening to others and stay rooted in toxic relationships or negative energy fueled by their depression and inability to really LET GO and TRUST their intuition. How do we break this cycle? By DIVING IN and learning to swim later.

It takes only 15 minutes daily of silent meditation to connect to your higher self. This will bolster and encourage you. Self empowerment will lead you to a place where you can ignore the naysayers and move forward with your head held high. You CAN do this and no one is stopping you but yourself.

I have watched many people stuck doing the same thing year after year too afraid to chart a course and swim to higher ground. They complain about their miserable lives and do nothing to improve it. They will list a multitude of excuses as to why they cannot achieve their goals, and in actual fact if they put as much energy into DOING instead of thinking, they would find themselves much happier beings.

Survival is becoming harder and we as a people must learn to think for ourselves. But if we really sit in silence and tune in we will realize we are never alone. A multitude of guides and helpers are there to help you and will never leave your side. Begin today with a positive affirmation, look your situation face on and say, "I am a beautiful person and I will seek my happiness by being true to myself. I will begin in silence and I will learn to ignore the chatter and welcome the guidance that has always been within me— my intuition."

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Want to learn more? Read my short book.

Alone Following a Break-Up

I never thought I would find myself alone, after all I was born into a overcrowded family and married at the age of 18… having personal space was a luxury. But that marriage dissolved and my inability to be alone probably counts for the many unsuccessful relationships that followed. Oh sure, there were many other reasons and I don't mean to be glib about this, but the truth of the matter is that I did NOT know how to love myself– let alone others. And so in the year 2007 I did something that made a lot of people think I was crazy...I hit the RESET button and said NO MORE.

It wasn't like I woke up one day and said, hey Lorraine you need to love yourself. No, it was more like a feeling of emptiness. Something off, something missing and it was very deep. By this stage of my life I had raised three children and was now a grandparent. I had lived a role for others and in doing so, lost a bit of me. How? Aren't we supposed to be dutiful parents and give ourselves 24 hours a day to the needs of our offspring? And what about our grown parents, are we not supposed to drop everything and care for them as they become more needy? This is the the correct path, so why wasn't I happy? I adored my children and had a warm, loving relationship with my parents (they are both now in spirit). But I spent years battling insomnia and depression, and to be quite honest I was hoping some mornings I would just leave and go quietly into the spirit world... but that was then.

Hitting the reset button helped me to discover self-love. It wasn't easy contacting the lawyer and starting the divorce procedure, telling my kids I needed to start fresh, or telling my aging mother that I would call when I was settled. But you know what…it was pretty easy to quit my high-paying job, and swap all of my jewelry for cash. Yes, that part felt right, it felt solid, it felt like a huge GREEN LIGHT!

And so at the age of 52 I was finally alone. I drove 1400 miles to Key West, FL and found a tiny space I could barely afford. I came with the items I could stuff into my tiny car. No furniture, no pots or pans, no linen…just my laptop, art supplies and some summer clothes and flip-flops.

Bedroom/art studio

My new job paid me about the same hourly rate I earned in 1973 and let me tell you, it was day to day, penny to penny living. My furniture came from trash picks and yard sales. But little by little my tiny space began to feel like a palace. I was learning the importance of silence. I was learning what made me uncomfortable, happy, irritable, excited, bored… I was learning who Lorraine the person was. Not the mother, daughter, sister or friend person I had been, but the bubbling energetic child that had been squashed for a long time. I want to make it very clear that I hold no ill feelings or blame anyone, I am merely stating a fact that I was NOT BEING TRUE TO MYSELF.

My perfect tiny space

As I began spending time alone I found there were bits and pieces of me that I either wanted to examine further or discard. But how…where do you begin? It was then that I discovered the magic of being alone. At first it felt lonely, and I was wondering if I had traded my insomnia for a new zip code. I now had a new problem, I was afraid of the dark and every bump in the night. Florida had geckos, eww, creepy little things that crawled into every crevice. I DON'T DO CREEPY THINGS! I came from a quiet suburban neighborhood with squirrels and blue jays. Now I had to dodge iguanas and don't even get me started about the Key West chickens, they are as common as palm trees crowing every time someone turns a light on. So how alone was I exactly?
to be continued... Part 2

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To learn about meditation please read Meditation Mojo
Art for a cause.

Man Made Hell=Man Made Fear Part 3

 

continued...
The Blue Hair Church was the next church I attended. This is what my father referred to as a “bible banging” church. It was here where I first encountered all of these people who seemed to speak “Bible Lingo.” I found myself among this group, who at first seemed very friendly, sending sympathetic looks my way, as I had not learned their language. I was a Bible Lingo illiterate…you know those phrases like “If thou dost not” and “what has thou done?” followed very quickly by Isaiah this or second Timothy that. I, of course didn’t know who the first Timothy was let alone all of the others. And here I stood among tiny children skipping past me repeating verses upon verses as if they were singing Mary had a little lamb.

The Blue Haired Church encouraged their people to be in the church constantly… doing all kinds of good deeds and memorizing the book of rules. All this activity kept me away from my family and friends and it seemed that a new family replaced them. They were always talking about the pitfalls of displeasing God. It left me uncomfortable and anxious. A growing feeling that I wasn’t good enough was born—somehow, I was always a step behind and felt unworthy. I left this church the day I walked into their business meeting and overheard them discussing my husband, the father of my infant daughter. After a private tearful counseling session with my pastor, that I thought would be kept confidential, the congregation learned that my husband was having an affair with his secretary. I quietly walked into a church business meeting only to overhear The Blue Hairs discussing my marriage and how they needed to revoke my husband’s church membership. I quietly slipped out the door and into my divorce lawyer’s office.

Many years later, still not very trustful of any church, I felt an urging to teach my children about God and began attending the Q-Tip Church. Most looked like they had heads of white cotton swabs. They made weak attempts to include children with a 5-minute Greeting-of the-Children-Session. The preacher would ask the children if they had anything to say. My 3-year-old son’s hand always shot up as I slithered down in my seat, cringing, as he would recall something I said or did. The congregation counted him a favorite storyteller as he would stand and speak loudly… “Yesterday, when my mom was fighting with my sister I saw a bunny hop up on our porch.”
This experience didn’t last very long. The people believed children should be seen and not heard and as I looked around I realized there were more funerals then baby baptisms and so I took it as a sign to exit.

The Napoleon Church was an experience that still seems surreal to me. It was led by a guy who sought after fame while pretending to seek after God. It was a little church that always wanted to be bigger. I spoke out about the inconsistencies I saw and was told several times that women were not supposed to speak. I asked to lead a teen’s music program as they were seeking leaders to volunteer. I was told that I could hold a leading position that was unseen like video editing, but NOT where the people could witness a woman leading. I was actually sent (they jetted me from coast to coast) to attend a mega church that looked more like a Disney theme park than a sanctuary. Their congregation amounted to 13,000 people. I was asked to study their artwork as a model for classrooms. The mega church had a gift shop filled with media all authored by their leader. Napoleon the Preacher looked around and said this is exactly what he wanted.
I said “What rows and rows of books with your photo on the cover? I thought that God was supposed to be the center of attention.”
I was a member of the Napoleon Church’s version of a Christian rock band often singing lead vocals. I organized a group concert at a local baseball stadium joining together with 9 other Christian bands from area churches. The admission would benefit a local rescue mission helping the homeless. I spent many hours organizing this event as it was the first of its kind in our area. Some of the members in my band could not afford the admission price and the baseball stadium was firm... no ticket, no entry…and I was the organizer of the event! Each band was given 10 free tickets. I had 13 members in our band. I went to have a meeting with Napoleon himself over this dilemma and this was his reply.
“Those free tickets need to cover myself and my 3 children, and other members of our staff.”
“So…let me get this straight," I said, “the band has to pay to perform in a concert I organized to help for the homeless?”
People had no food or shelter. I tried to do what I thought God had called me to do and I was confused knowing the people of the Napoleon Church were truly missing the point. As I addressed this with others I was immediately ostracized and I left this bad dream and moved on.
...conclusion in the next blog
Yes, I took a slight detour from my meditation experiences, but since most of this writing came through while meditating I wanted to bring it into the light:)
To learn how you can meditate without any CD's or guides please read Meditate for FREE