So it's your birthday...big deal

I found myself waking one morning to a frantic phone call from my sister. Her husband had stopped breathing during his sleep and she performed CPR and alerted 911. Her heroic efforts helped give him only 2 weeks to live as he was placed on life support and finally passed only 8 days ago.

I am blessed to have a very stable loving relationship and I was able to purchase a 1-way ticket to fly to be by her side. I watched the doctors grim faces as they updated her daily with reports of his decline until he passed. He crossed over at home with his family and loving dogs by his side.

My spouse has packed up our office and belongings and we have decided to stay with her for the time being. I do not know the length of this stay...I only know that I am needed. As children we dreamed of owning horses and I find myself on a 13 acre farm with horses that need feeding, brushing and stalls that need cleaning. Back home (in the Florida Keys) we travel often on business and I am unable to own a pet dog (I so desire)...and I now find myself surrounded by a mixed dachshund-terrier named Molly and a black lab named Ace that are hurting as their beloved master has passed. We now take long walks together and my steps keep time to their wagging tails.

So many lessons I am learning daily. To understand that I live surrounded by love with a mate who is confident and SOLID in himself allows me to just flow freely. How beautiful and how natural this all feels to me. To be able to cut through the pettiness of daily mundane BS putting aside unnecessary stress to be of use to a fellow human...be it my sister or a neighbor is so rewarding.

There are many holidays, reunions, graduations, birthdays and celebrations - but there is only ONE that trumps them all...death. (And yes, I know his Spirit is all around and I feel his presence, but her pain is raw.) I am starting to see that people take these celebrations with so much focus that they feel hurt if we do not acknowledge or make a fuss... if we do not share in their delight. When you are surrounded by a grieving loved one you realize that celebrations come and go but that the physical existence of THIS day is precious. Yes, we can rejoice with others and send cards and smile, but when you know someone is grieving learn to not take it personal if they cannot raise a toast. We must take stock- give love, embrace love, BE love everyday. This is what I want to breathe in daily.

Meditation has given me this insight. To learn how you can meditate without any CD's or guides for FREE please read How to Begin

Death and Dandelions

My sister's husband of 39 years is dying of a rare cancer of the blood. My profession as a designer allows me to work anywhere my mac is. And so I am by her side now for the duration. She owns 13 acres with a stable filled with horses. Her husband is 62 and he was once a man that was a chief of police commanding a team... now he no longer can lift his head and will pass very soon. He was diagnosed only 2 months ago. Sad? Yes, but not an uncommon story. Cancer does not care about age, career or goals.

I know I cannot heal him and my sister is numb. Sometimes when death approaches you do whatever you can do to lighten a load. And so I picked up a pitchfork and shoveled manure and when the horses were cleaned and fed I rested.

Anyone can help a family member or a friend... you just need to look around. The hospice team will care for him as he continues to grow weaker and I will remind my sister to eat and to breathe and to just take each day as it comes. And while I am here I will weed a garden. A garden that Lee loved to work in and I know this will bring a smile.

Lee is sedated but I know his spirit is very aware and so I will continue to send him love and surround him with care and compassion for his beloved pets and his best friend...my sister whom I will rock to sleep in my arms for now. Sometimes healing appears in the strangest ways. Look around at the people you know who are hurting and find your garden to weed.