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Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Smiling Through Broken Glass

I used to think that my life was nothing more than shattered dreams.  I was never able to quite win the approval of my parents. My teachers shook their heads disapprovingly as they marked my grades in red ink. And I always wished I was born into a family that was little less lean in the wallet. Being born into a pack of 8 kids you learned quickly to take whatever was offered and to be thankful. 

When I was very young I learned I had the unique talent to create art. I was fascinated to discover I could actually earn a living by doing something that came so natural. I had no formal training but it didn't stop me from trying. I even made it all the way to NY where a big company Newman Marcus wanted to purchase some of my art for their children's wear. Wow, and I was this nobody painting on children's clothing out of my garage. And then something happened that would change my life forever. My art representative stole my portfolio containing all of my original work and sold it, passing it off as her own!
It was like a meteor crashed into my world. I had been moving in a direction that seemed so perfect and BAM I was knocked flat on my back. I had a few options available to me. Take her to court and submerge myself in legal bills and a swamp of negativity, wallow in self pity and numb myself with drugs and alcohol sinking deeper into depression... or go to art school and learn how to develop the natural talent I had arrived on the planet with.
But first I would have to get my hands dirty and put in the work. Did I mention I was a single mom during this time raising an 8 and 13 year old?...um yeah. I drove 180 miles daily five days a week for two years just to earn a degree so I could say I was an "official" artist. I finished at the top of my class, too. Geez, I can still hear myself telling my classmates who thought I was an over study-er. "I didn't drive all this way to get a C!" You'd think for all of my effort someone would at least ask to see my certificate, but no, not really. All I was ever asked was show me what you can DO Lorraine.
The theft of my portfolio helped move me toward being the artist I am today... do I want to thank this woman...um no, I wouldn't exactly say that. But, I am thankful I was able to rise above the negativity and move THOUGHT into ACTION. 
We must all understand that life holds a lot of broken bits and pieces. We have storms and trials and we sometimes fall flat on our face. It is how we are able to create something from this that will enable us to love ourselves more. It will help us to feel complete, whole and beautiful.

I continue to use meditation to help me learn more about how I can move THOUGHT into ACTION and you can too. To learn how you can begin to meditate please read my book Sæ-sii Meditation: How to Find Your Bliss in 15 Minutes a Day