Toy Stupor Illness of Christmas

Growing up in a large family, with parents both from large families you would think my memories would be vague and cloudy trying to recall them...

No

Actually somehow they are separate yet together and each character gives texture to my watercolor of memories that swirl and give me goose bumps every so often.

Christmas of course was golden, always happy and never once did anything “bad” happen on this day. It was like time and troubles marched along and sidestepped this event in my life and it remains a safe haven when ever I need to chuckle. My mind’s retreat from unstoppable worries and changes I have no control over. Christmas. And it was always a Turner Christmas...my mother’s side...well they had somehow made up their minds that we were one too many gifts to share the event with. But my father’s side...well they just could not stay away...maybe it was because there were so many of us, maybe it was because they knew my mother actually had 9 children living at 228 Vernon Avenue...and she was married to one of them!

Like every family we had our traditions. We had tree trimming and decorating...cookie baking and gift-wrapping and Christmas music playing on my father’s Hi-Fi.  We also had an added event that was so unique that I’m not sure I can accurately describe it.

The moment that came after we tore open our gifts and became like toy-stupored zombies who suddenly had no appetites and lost our sense of hearing as parents tried to call us for photos or help in the kitchen. This was usually when IT happened. Just as you're counting up your booty and finally tearing your eyes away from your own toys to see what your siblings are shaking in your face...the car horn would blare.

They’re here! We all squealed...they’re here!

They, being my father’s sister Ruth, our Nana along with Uncle Harry my dad’s best friend, and husband to his favorite sister Blanche. An onslaught of gifts had just arrived being announced by my Uncle Harry, the one that got his arm “shot off in battle” as my father would always remind us, leaning on the horn with a smile that was priceless.

Now... not many people have a back porch that is really called something else. This wonderful slab of concrete, the one I was always jumping off and adding to my collection of scrapes bumps and bruises, transformed each Christmas into what my father and his family referred to as ...

THE LOADING DOCK

Yes, yes I know and unusual name for a back porch but that is what it was named after all. It all came about because of the mountains of gifts that were off-loaded from Uncle Harry’s car. The one he drove with his knees on the steering wheel, a pure delight to all of us as we thought he was steering it magically.

So many packages were crammed in, that I don’t know where they sat. Nana was brimming with goodies, sweets, candies and cookies! Aunt Blanche was hugging my parents and saying over and over again...“What did they break... anything broken yet?” A standing joke in our family as one year her oldest daughter Gail came stomping in the front door and stepped right into my brother’s new drum!

Aunt Ruth, well she sort of hung back clutching her purse, after all we were noisy and excited and we might get her dirty...

She also brought gifts though; she just had a different way of presenting them. They always came with some long explanation. “Now children this gift is very special, now take very good care of it”
...and it was bubble bath.
Usually an Avon product of some sort...always something to do with cleaning us up and making us smell better...

And so we sat on the floor in a circle anxiously waiting, as they would pull out gift after gift calling each child’s name. Now, it took us a few years to catch on, but it became a sort of silent nod between us that we would wait until we received our gifts...this was due to the fact that each girl always got EXACTLY the same thing only perhaps in a different color. Always, always some article of clothing, and we were thrilled. New clothes in our house were very rare and we looked forward to this special pouring out from my father’s family. Nana would give us the same thing every year… a new robe and slippers. She must have had visions of all of us kids freezing in that cold damp house with the buckets scattered about catching the rain from our leaky roof. “Thank you Nana” was the chorus we sang.
“Do you like them?”...would be her reply...“Really? You really like what I picked out for you?”
“Yes, Nana it’s perfect”... and it was.
She never bought anything but silky satiny fabric, no flannel always very feminine and lovely. Every item had little bits of lace and ribbon here and there. And as we sat and enjoyed this special moment a loud boisterous roaring of laughter was usually coming from the Loading Dock.

The place where my father and Uncle Harry were bringing in their gifts....to each other.

Now Uncle Harry was a teacher, and every year he and the rest of the students had their school photos taken. One year he wrapped a box of a gazillion school photos of himself for my dad. Another year he went and collected and saved, I still cannot believe he did this, all of his tiny poodle’s droppings and wrapped them in foil and placed them in a candy box! The big standing joke in our extended family was the amount of items consumed, 4 gallons of milk a week, 6 loaves of bread and so on. The most talked about item that got the most laughs was the amount of toilet paper our family used. And so to the howling laughter of our relatives, my father unwrapped what appeared to be long tubular rolled box, which had a carpet label on the outside and found a case of toilet paper! Yes, the loading dock was ever famous and for years this event was a steady tradition.

Somehow it just felt right. Toys everywhere, laughter loud and hearty and our parents opening one gift. Yes, one gift. Santa never seemed to bring anything for them. We children of course made them pencil cup holders covered in painted macaroni, which we made in school, but no, there wasn’t anything I ever saw them unwrap in those early days of my childhood. I remember it well as I thought Santa must think that they misbehaved. I of course got loads and so this theory worked out well in my mind. One gift given by Blanche and Harry made them laugh all year long. They shared this humor with friends and neighbors and they would laugh harder at the retelling of it.

Perhaps that was the best gift. Listening to them laugh. Free from the usual frowns and briskness of the business of raising children and meeting our needs. That was priceless. That special day watching them just melt into laughter and hug Uncle Harry and Aunt Blanche, while Nana was at the sink bustling around dishes...and Aunt Ruth was perched on a chair, sort of sitting, but not looking like she was completely touching the wood. Maybe she was afraid of kid germs, maybe some child left a half eaten cookie on it....knowing us anything is possible! But there she sat with her bone china tea cup clucking her tongue at the men in the kitchen as their voices and laughter rose among the choruses of “Thank you Nanas.”

The loading dock is gone now. But the mountains of memories remain. And if you close your eyes and sit very quietly and listen hard enough you can still hear the laughter, smell the cookies and see Uncle Harry and Aunt Blanche unloading that car. Nana with her hands loaded with sweets and Aunt Ruth, purse clutched in her best clothes saying Merry Christmas...did you break anything yet?

As I write this the heavenly scent of pine surrounds me and I can just hear the giggles of my sisters and brothers...memories so sweet as if they are a cloak that is brought and wrapped around me. Meditation often gives me images, sounds and smells that reawaken my deepest memories unlocking their love. It is with this love energy that I write. I am currently writing a book on meditation and hope to make it available very soon. Drop me a line if you would like to be notified when it is available.

To learn how to begin this wonderful simple 15 minute daily meditation please read How to Begin

The Whispering Heirloom

So did I tell you my mom – who passed in 2010 – has made contact with me? Wow, she came during a meditation. Let's just say I was a bit freaked yet very thrilled. It has left me with a better understanding of the immeasurable possibilities of my daily 15 minutes of silence.
When I began the process of Sæ-sii meditation, I have to admit, I never thought it would reveal such wonders. I thought I would just be a calmer person with less stress. Boy was I in for a surprise.

I'm currently in the process of taking my mother's embroidered tablecloth, the one I used to actually have a table for, and turning it into a bed cover.  She has created beautiful works of art with embroidery and for years they have sat in a cedar chest. That was until she visited me and I learned she watches over me...literally she tells me in detail about all she sees now. I can't help but show her my appreciation and love...because that is what this connection is LOVE ENERGY.

Thinking on this makes me appreciate when I was a beginning student. I listened and recorded the instructions but never really understood the reasons of the opening prayer. Now years later I have experienced first-hand the results of forgetting to ask for protection. The negative entities encountered were my wake up call as they filled me with the creeps. To read about this experience see Meditation Police. You learn pretty quickly you need protection when opening yourself up to the spirit world.

I always begin my meditation in prayer. I approach this time in reverence and respect to spirit. I usually set my intention and ask to blend with my conscious and to be at one with my spirit. What happens after this can render me speechless and often my journals seem fractured as I cannot find the words to describe the experience. Let me give you an example.

My 93 year old Aunt Blanche crossed over this past August. We were very close and I was fortunate to be able to visit and say "see you later," before she passed. She was my dad's sister and a good friend to my mother.
Here is a journal entry shortly after she passed.

Monday, August 20, 2012: This is a strange night. I place amethyst under my pillow. I am restless and unable to sleep  and so I begin a meditation.
Meditation: Images begin appearing and I realize I am seeing visions very, very clear. They are black and white photos of my mom in her youth. She is beautiful- wearing hats and long skirts- I then see many images of a familiar blonde woman and I think it’s me dressed in vintage clothes but then I realize it's Aunt Blanche and I smile to myself. The images become animated and they are posing in skirts, dresses, seamed stockings, 1940's styled shoes. They throw their heads back in laughter and I feel my heart race as I am caught up in their excitement. I feel myself grinning and holding my breath as I don't want to lose the images.They come fast and fly in and fly off the screen—as I am watching the images I am aware that someone is getting into bed behind me. I am lying facing away from my bedroom door and the spirit climbs into bed beside me and I feel the weight shift- it is female. I know my spouse is in bed asleep and I am not afraid-it feels like a blanket more than a body as it comes from behind and holds me- It then rocks me a little I know instantly that it is going to speak to me- I am watching mom’s photos and I hear a whisper very loud "LORRAINE" - I say aloud "MOM?"
The spirit shakes its head in acknowledgement and gives me one more quick hug and rocks me with a tight embrace and then vanishes and the imagery disappears as well. I say a blessing of thanks and then move closer to my spouse just to touch him and feel the difference of spirit and physical. I am NOT afraid. I stay where I am thinking about this.  Was this mom? I know it was female and I quickly think back to the tiny rocking hug- it felt like mom's hug! That's exactly how she would finish a hug...a little rock at the end...this was her signature:) I then remember how I felt when she whispered my name- it wasn’t a voice it was more like rushing wind saying my name—as it was happening I remember telling myself spirit sometime cannot speak clearly for many reasons- my development may not be ready to hear- their ability to speak to a vibration lower than theirs – but I remember not being afraid and knowing it was coming. I then said a prayer to my highest guides and helpers and made my intentions very clear. As my protectors and guides I was making it known to the universe that I did not want TOUCHING to be a part of my medium skills unless it was my parents and loved ones- no one has permission to get in my bed and hold me and hug me unless they have my permission.

Meditation can often be in total blank silence. It may come with brilliant lights and it can come with thoughts or even words spoken. No matter what this is a personal journey and no two are alike.
As I teach meditation I always try to remind students that there are NO BLUE RIBBONS, you are not in a race, you are not less or better than anyone. Each of us has spiritual gifts and meditation can help you discover them. Not everyone will be visited by loved ones but then again you may discover something quite marvelous about your OWN gifts.

Why not begin daily meditation today? You may find treasures that you've kept hidden. Approach it with respect and love and record every detail. This process will help you to see, hear and feel the mysteries of meditation. I know my mother is enjoying watching my journey and I can't help wonder if her nudging me to sew this coverlet is her way of being just a little bit closer.

To learn how you can meditate please read my book Sæ-sii Meditation: How to Find Your Bliss in 15 Minutes a Day

December Flip-Flops and Frozen Margaritas

It's December and all around me I feel a change in the air. What is it that seems to lie just beneath the surface? Holiday music fills every nook and cranny of every building I enter, be it a trip to pick up asparagus or make a deposit at the bank. It can either make you feel all tingly inside or set your teeth on edge. This is a matter for you, but like it or not the season of merriment is upon us.

When you live in the land of palm trees and pelicans its hard to conjure up images of fresh fallen snow and glistening icicles. Although I no longer own a TV, I am aware that every station begins the onslaught of special holiday shows depicting garland laced windows, brightly lit trees and children building snowmen. Apparently their version of the holiday is only celebrated in cold northern climates and for many years this is exactly how I witnessed it. I was a Jersey girl and I knew the meaning of the season. It meant wearing extra sweaters, sloshing through snow that often fell into my boots and hitching my scarf up a little tighter over my frozen nose as I sledded with my friends.

That was then this is now. It's December alright and the sailboats look whiter against the teal waters of the Clearwater Bay in sunny Florida. The only scraping of our windshields come from the occasional droppings of the sea birds. But many around me are excited as the holiday festivities approach. Santa's sleigh being led by flying pink flamingos adorn some of the rooftops while mechanical penguins wearing Hawaiian shirts wave to passers by. When I first moved to Florida I found all of this appalling and now... well, I guess I have mellowed as I see that even people wearing flip-flops find joy in the simplest of things. Children still hang stockings and parents still kiss under the mistletoe. Yep, it's December again and the sunsets are more radiant then ever.

Meditation can help you find your own radiance for more information how you can connect with this self-loving energy please read Meditation Mojo

A Holiday in Mourning

"But this wasn't how it was supposed to be...he wasn't supposed to die."
"Yes, but he was very sick."
"But how will we go on without him?"
"I'm not sure I don't have the answers."
"But we thought we had forever."
"You still have a future."
"I don't want this one- I don't want this day."
"What do you want?"
"I want him back."
"What would you say to him?"
"So many things... how much I loved him, LOVE him, what sharing a life with him meant to me."
"Do you tell him this now?"
"Yes." Tears falling reaching for a tissue. "I do but he doesn't answer back."
"Can you still feel his presence?"
"Yes, but I don't know how to go one- he's so close but I can't touch him."
"And your family and loved ones that are still here?"
"They can't help me- they are grieving themselves- we are all a mess...and Christmas is coming."
"Yes, it is."
"I can't begin to think how I will be able to celebrate this ever again."
"Maybe you can take a break from holidays- maybe have an Un-Holiday this year."
"And do what?"
"Maybe volunteer to help others- maybe visit a shut-in, work in a shelter. Give."
"But my heart is broken."
"I know."
"I don't know how to do this."
"No one does."
"He loved Christmas so much."
"Did he?"
"Yes, he just loved all of us so much."
"He still does."
"Yes." More tears, more tissues.
"It's a new day. A new road before you. I can't walk it for you, but I will hold your hand and be there when you need me."
"Thanks, this means a lot."
"Keep talking to him and take time to meditate."
"I'm afraid of being alone with my thoughts."
"Then stop thinking and turn it off and sit in silence."
"I saw a hawk. Remember how we saw a hawk during his memorial service? One lone hawk circling low?"
"Yes."
"Every time I see a hawk I think of him- as if it's somehow spiritually connected."
"How does this make you feel?"
"As if he is somehow communicating- but I'm not sure what it's trying to tell me."
"But how do you feel when you see the hawk?"
Blessed."
"Then meditate on this and embrace this blessing."

Yesterday was Thanksgiving Day. While she was cooking beside her children I took the dogs for a walk. A lone hawk slowly circled directly over her home. I stopped and looked up and was reminded of this spiritual connection.

We all need to look up and embrace life and the loved ones that are still living and breathing beside us. Yes life here on earth is short- but we are blessed abundantly by the connection with the world around us. Look up and feel this blessing. If you know of someone who is grieving please take the time to validate their pain- BE LOVE and be a blessing to others.

To learn how you can meditate please read my book Sæ-sii Meditation: How to Find Your Bliss in 15 Minutes a Day

Voting Voodoo

As I watched this nation approach election day, I was astonished at the absurdities being spread regarding the men running for office. What is the truth and what has happened to our ability to discern between fact and fiction? The media is no longer unbiased and a poor source for anyone trying to make a clear-cut voting decision. How is a man to form his own opinion? Perhaps like many...he no longer holds one.

From early on we are taught to follow the leadership of others. Parents, teachers, coaches and political leaders all saying, "Follow me, I know what's best for you."

But do they? Even when things don't add up, should we plow on ahead regardless of what we know to be a wobbly truth?
Are we willing to follow like sheep? If so, then we are doomed to fall off a cliff as we follow opinions created by others.

I have long stayed away from political discussions as the hatred becomes so thick. People unable to work together for the good of all. It seems to be worse when you ask them for the reasons behind their opinion and they cannot answer you. They will quote something they heard on TV or read in a political advertisement.

Busy people living busy lives. Some wake to the drudgery of household chores or work a job to support a family and return home dog-tired. They grumble at the amount they are paid and long for the leisure of their retirement. Do they care about the country and its leadership? Of course. Do they want to read and examine and study and do the research needed to make a wise choice in how their tax dollars are spent? Well, to be honest...it's easier to listen to someone else tell them what to think. And so when you ask them why they feel such anger and hatred toward the opposing candidate they can fire off the bullet points that they have heard being parroted by friends and co-workers. Is this truly their opinion? If it is why is it that they cannot answer you from their heart?

I believe the reason so many are unable to work together for the good of all is because they truly do NOT want to be alone with their own thoughts. It can be scary and they might have to examine unhealthy lifestyles, toxic relationships and feelings of disappointment in who they are and how they are moving along this road of life. If we cannot be alone with our own mind and separate what we know to be true... deep down in our gut...then how can we begin to understand one another?

I am happy this election is over. I am encouraged to think that perhaps we can move forward. It is my hope that together all will strive to live in a world where race, religion, class standing and sexual orientation will never interfere with anyone's right to be treated with dignity and respect. A world where all people have the right to provide for themselves. Homelessness will be a word from our past and empty stomachs a forgotten memory.  A place where The Haves and the Have-Nots are no longer warring among themselves and have replaced it with an attitudes of loving care. Let us look within and find the truth. Let us listen to our inner voice that is calling out and let us stop the hatred that separates us.

Perhaps you are one of the people that doesn't want to look within, you've chosen to keep your head down as you follow a path others have put before you.  This is a matter for you. But if you do decide this course of action, how will you know it is a choice that has been made by you? Begin by taking the simple step of daily meditation. Only 15 minutes of daily silence. No media, no parents, no co-workers or any other means of outside interference. A time to be alone with your thoughts. Trust yourself and know that the opinion you hold is truly your own. To learn how you can begin meditating please read How to Begin.

Crystal Conversations

Months ago I was told by my guides that I would be attending a workshop regarding crystals. I sort of shrugged and didn't give it too much thought. It came up again and again in meditation almost as an urgent, "Don't question...just GO!" And so I told my spouse..."um yeah..the crystals are calling me, I need to book a flight." Luckily he's used to all of this by now and just smiled.

I was led to a couple in Blue Ash, Ohio and as I navigated my rental car to their home I felt myself settling into a zone. Never having driven down this road, you'd think there'd be some anxiety...yet it all felt so natural. The moment I stepped into the room I was among friends. I had never met these people or these stones... however deep within we knew each other very well. Everyone attending was local. I was the only outsider– or was I? We all seemed to complete a circle.

As I listened to our competent instructor sharing her insights, I was moved by her compassion for the rocks. She and the stones were excellent communicators and I marveled at their ability to teach. Her husband sat beside her and offered assistance and they blended seamlessly and it warmed my heart. They truly have a deep appreciation for these living entities of the earth.

The crystals were speaking and as the workshop progressed, they carried me along in a river of love– love for myself, the students, the teacher, the universe and especially for the crystals themselves. For they were very much alive to me and I found myself in tears among these wonderful loving friends. My guides were beside me throughout the seminar and at times I felt as if they were dancing with joy.

I laughed continually and felt my cheeks hurt from smiling. I felt such elation surrounded by this energy and as I switched partners for each lesson, I gained a greater insight to the diverse qualities that make us so individual. Like the crystals that allow themselves to be used in this way, I saw the connection that each of us can bring as we work together.  We all have unique gifts and when we blend for the highest good, well...it is amazing what we can do. Is this why my guides urged me to come? Was this part of the lesson? It wasn't in the book!

Workshop and home of The Crystal Guy

As the workshop came to a close I found myself wishing it would never end. What was it that kept me so filled with heightened energy? Is this what it feels like when you raise your vibration? This incredible glow of love has stayed and I am meditating with such peace. I look forward to sharing all that I have learned as I know that I was led to this class for a purpose. Yes, I am more informed about the healing properties of crystals - but more importantly I was reminded that we each carry our own abilities. If we join together and embrace this loving energy within, then together we can create magic. This crystal clear connection is something you can find for yourself. Start meditating and learn to work with these amazing energies and like me you may just discover a few more friends.

To learn more about meditation please visit Meditation Mojo.

The Dragonfly Whisperer

Flying Arrow Illustrated by me

For many years dragonflies have appeared in the most unusual circumstances. Winter or summer they have materialized so often that I now acknowledge them as trusted friends. When I began to see winged creatures appear during meditations...well, let's just say synergy is something I no longer ignore.

Years ago when I was struggling to leave a bad marriage they appeared to me in material objects. Funny, I had never noticed that the fabric on my chair was covered in dragonflies, my glass bowl was etched with them along with other personal treasures. I was depressed and I was searching for a path to find my way out of the gloom and here they were saying, "Don't forget about us we have been with you all along."
I packed all the items into my tiny car and drove 1400 miles to live in a new community. I knew no one. I had to begin fresh. I unloaded everything into my tiny shared living space and went to take a walk on the nearest beach. I should not have been surprised when I was greeted by a swarm of brilliant red dragonflies.

Follow me

Soon I began working in a new job. I had formerly been paid very well as a professional artist and now found myself working in a pub as a hostess for meager wages...but I was starting from scratch. A dragonfly flew in one day and perched himself on the wall behind me. My co-workers stood mouths gaping as this insect seemed to follow me around the room. I laughed it off as nonsense until I found it waiting for me in the ladies room.

Yes, they are constant reminders in my life— little affirmations that I'm never alone. I feel and sense them before they appear and I love their ability to hover and see from so many perspectives. Are they here to help redirect mine?

Those depressing days are long gone. Now I'm a happy being, moving along my path with a passion of purpose. Recently I moved to place called Clearwater and upon my arrival I was met by a huge swarm of brilliant colored dragonflies. They bounced and hovered close to me as if greeting me. I laughed and asked them to come closer to show me their color and one landed and stayed very still so I could take the photo that you see above.

Why are these tiny creatures attracted to me? Is it my scent...am I sending signals that I want to communicate with them? Is it my aura? Or is it something less mysterious?

Let's meditate together

Recently while meditating on the beach, I was visited by several as they darted about happily. I began speaking to them with my thoughts and left my hands palm up. One alighted onto my fingers and then flew up to sit upon my head. Luckily my camera was sitting nearby and my partner shot two continuous minutes of photos. He said it was tap-tapped with its legs, sending me code? Ha!

Transition is something we all go through, be it a failed relationship, death of a loved one, changing careers or moving into a new home. It is how we navigate these times in our life that will be most beneficial to ourselves and others. For me I believe the dragonfly is here to guide me and I now send them thoughts of blessings and well being. I see them as little arrows pointing me in the right direction.
Who is guiding you? What little signs keep appearing in your life? Meditation can help illuminate your pathway and bring you guidance every day. Look about you closely and see if your guides have left you a compass...seek your own synergy and when you find it...use it lovingly to help others. 

To learn more about meditation please read  Meditation Mojo.
Since writing this, with many hours of helping others with animals in spirit, missing animals, etc
I am a Professional Animal Communicator, I can speak with your animals! learn more

Mystic Filters Who Are YOU Listening To?

Who's voice are YOU listening to?

Is meditation just for spiritual people? Why would anyone need to learn how to do something so simple? Life is made up of many different species of people, well maybe not species per say, but face it we are pretty animal-istic in our pack behavior at times:)

Some people choose to use religion and special prayers in their communication with God, Source or Is. Others choose silent prayer in their own way and do not belong to any organized religion but still feel their childhood upbringing regarding the church's views are close to their own, without the need to attend a service. Many have chosen to find a road to inner peace by venturing from one form of belief system to another. They're in an experimental phase and time will tell how they proceed along their journey.

Some non-church goers now exploring Tarot, Astrology and Numerology seem to have swapped out church for a new ideology. Some, not all, seem unaware that they are venturing into a pattern of thinking put before them by others. Who's voice is guiding them and can they honestly say that it is truly their own? I find each of these methods fascinating and feel they are very valuable tools in gaining knowledge from the universe. I encourage beginners to look within when approaching new avenues regarding this connection as I feel it should be approached with respect.

Some do not want ANY communication or attention to anything spiritual.

Others choose to interact with God, Source, Is or whatever name they choose, with the help of meditation as well as a link to their own spirit, guides and helpers. And some do not want to connect with anything other then their subconscious. This is all a matter for the individual, and I mention the many different avenues as an example of how each of us is on our own path. Does it make one better then the other? No, of course not, it just makes us different in our walks.

For those of you going through your lives as if you are in "survival" mode... you get up, eat, go to work, come home, eat, watch tv or read, sleep and start the day again in order to meet your physical needs. Meditation can be a wonderful escape from the gerbil wheel. I have spent many years on that wheel and I understand it well...but one day I got off:)

I teach Sæ-sii meditation because it has helped me discover new horizons and possibilities in my life. I was able to examine my journey as if seeing it for the first time in its rawest state. What makes me happy? Why do I choose what I read, watch or interact with? Why am I attracted to certain people? Why do I dislike specific things that have popped up in my life? How can I redirect my path to move with my passion of purpose?

Meditation can bring about a gradual change in your life that helps you feel more harmonious with the planet. Perhaps you will look upon a person struggling to open a door while juggling keys and packages and lend a hand, maybe your eyes will slowly open to the litter around that never raised its head before and you are stooping to pick it up. Simple acts of kindness to others. I used to kill every insect in my path...now I am aghast at my previous behavior, after all we are all sharing the planet and who made me the head Bug Squasher?
Because of your uniqueness – there is no way of telling how it will effect you, but I can assure you it will.

It is a simple 15 minute "time out" activity of doing NOTHING that will help create abundant self-love. This enables you to be peaceful and desire to make a difference in the world around you. It reveals your value and encourages feelings of inner beauty. You know best what is good for you, not a book or a TV or a video. Not a teacher at a workshop lecturing about principals and applications...just your inner voice who knows you quite well. Meditation is an easy routine and your beautiful spirit, your intuition and your inner guidance is waiting to meet you. Try it and see for yourself...after all YOU'RE WORTH IT. 
To learn more about this self connection please read How to Begin.

Meditation Mojo

Why would anyone want to sit in silence and think of NOTHING?Meditate. meditate |ˈmedəˌtāt|
verb [ intrans. ]
focus one’s mind for a period of time, in silence or with the aid of chanting, for religious or spiritual purposes or as a method of relaxation.  (Oxford Dictionary)
As I am beginning to look for a desirable location to teach meditation in my community, I am realizing that some people have some preconceived ideas about what exactly they will learn.

There are many forms that have different titles and if you do a search you will find various methods. I teach Sæ-sii meditation. It is not religious and does not require any belief system other than the fact that you desire to "let go" of all thought. Thought is a living thing and if you hold on to it you cannot be sure if the garden you have just imagined is in fact a spiritual journey or your imagination. I do not wish to place any ill thoughts toward other methods in stating this, it is a matter for you to choose what works for you.

Meditation can be achieved in many ways and in teaching this I respect that chanting or sitting in a certain position may be something that others find valuable. I teach a method that requires no music, no guided audio or instructor and no visionary cues. Why do I choose this method? Because I can go to my inner harbor of peace...and that is exactly where I go... at any given time. I can go while I sit in an airport and someone is talking non-stop on their cell phone. I can go when I am waiting in a doctor's office or sitting under a hairdryer at a salon while a television spouting non-stop negativity is placed before me. How? Because I have learned to switch off my mind without the need of any aids or devices or special seating posture.

How often should you meditate and for how long?
When I first embarked upon this I was exploring different techniques and I was meditating at least an hour a day and honestly I often just fell asleep. I tried videos, candles, music and read books and I began to feel nothing but frustration. Why couldn't I have these "magical" experiences...what was wrong with me? That's when I realized I needed to stop everything I was doing. All of this reading, watching, listening was just making my mind more active with the very thing I was trying to let go of... THOUGHT.
Now I sit in total silence in a comfortable position in the same room every day at approximately the same time for no longer than 15 mins. I say a prayer for protection (for step by step details see link below), I set my intention and then I allow my mind to come to complete rest. If anything floats in and I begin to give it attention than I am NOT meditating I am thinking, and so I will pull away from it and say "later...scoot" and then I just rest comfortably. When I first started doing this it was for mere seconds...than a minute...now it is 15. By doing this you are disconnecting to the chattering input of your brain and allowing your higher conscious to communicate with you. You may not even be aware of it, and that is the beauty of it. Your realization will come at other moments in your day when you are inspired and are able to move with confidence knowing your actions are purposeful and lead to a higher good for you and others.

All of my teaching centers upon how to move thought into action by NOT THINKING. Sounds bizarre huh? Well actually it is a process that takes time but once you begin to "let go" of all thought you will be able to open the door to your subconscious. I cannot describe what that will be like for you, as each of us is unique. Your experiences will be vastly different from mine as they will be from others you may encounter.

It is what YOU experience and what you learn from YOUR higher self that will give you the greatest joy. Meditation allows you to strip away the layers of day to day activity and have a connection to someone that loves you beyond measure...yourself and of course the guides that walk with you daily.
I hope to open my meditation studio very soon. The goal is to help others move their thoughts into action by the vehicle of their beautiful SELF guidance. They will be meditating in their own space at their own time and they will not need a group. The instruction will be giving them the confidence to make this effort to apply this to their daily walk as it will help them to move with their passion of purpose.

To learn how you can meditate please read my book Sæ-sii Meditation: How to Find Your Bliss in 15 Minutes a Day

Update: This was written in 2012. I now meditate twice daily for 15 minutes. Everyone has a time that works best for them, mine is at dawn and around 3pm. I have taught many workshops and I have written a book on meditation that will be published very soon. Meditation brings self-love that spreads world wide, I am ever the student of this magnificent ALL THAT IS.

Clairaudience and the Talking Osprey

As I wake to the cries of the Osprey living outside my balcony I am moved by it's alluring beauty. I am fixated by its hunting skills as he glides past me carrying breakfast dripping from his talons. I sip my coffee and after a light meal I lace up my sneakers still hearing his loud chirping cries. I begin my morning exercise as the Osprey flies overhead appearing to be joining me stopping to perch on tall trees and buildings.

I cross the bridge and gaze into the water looking for the dolphins that sometimes entertain me with their dazzling leaps and somersaults. I continue on my way listening to my headphones with the volume turned up high to hear above the noisy traffic. A squawking bird is making so much clatter it breaks my concentration so I switch to pause mode looking up to see who is making all the fuss. I shouldn't be surprised to find it's the large white Osprey landing on the light pole above me. I send it loving thoughts and tell it how beautiful it is. It begins to preen and I move on down the walkway. I continue my journey meeting the various shore birds along my way. There are spoonbills, egrets, herons, pelicans and many more that I haven't identified as yet. I circle back to climb up and over the bridge and two rays are gliding along splashing the surface. Surrounded by such beauty of nature effects me and I can feel my heart swell. My footsteps seem to float as I think about all of the life that has revealed itself to me. Are they just as moved to meet me? I return home to find the Osprey sitting on a branch near my front door. I stare dumbfounded as it wobbles it's head back and forth... is it waving to me? I shake my head and try to ignore this bird who seems to be contacting me.

In the mid-afternoon I take a break and step out onto the balcony as two of them now circle overhead swooping near me as they call out in passing. I spend the rest of my day working in my office and occasionally glance towards the beautiful Clearwater Bay. My windows are palm tree level and as the birds cross my vision I find myself daydreaming and not getting much work accomplished….

Now it is sunset and I am relaxing on the balcony watching the sailboats and tourists sipping cocktails on their chartered cruises. All is peaceful as I sink back into my chair. I breath in the salt air and something catches my eye and I look a little closer - yes it's an Osprey perched like a sentinel on the corner of a building nearby. I close my eyes and thank him for this precious gift of friendship. He sends me back his calm reply, "I have always been here."

It is in these moments that I am moved to meditation. I want to open myself to the wonders that have been beside me all of my life. Who are these guides…and why have they appeared in my journey …or have I appeared in theirs? Perhaps we are here for each other. I often hear messages during meditation and at first it was unsettling. Now I understand this gift and I am able to move past the voice to hear the message. I am being called to look closer at my surroundings. The Osprey is helping me open my vision to the needs of others.

Here is the  osprey cry   I am doing more research on Osprey Totems as I truly feel they are here for a purpose...have you made contacts with your guides?
If not then try meditation and set your intent on meeting them. It is one of the best ways to start. To learn how you can do this simple self-connection please read How to Meditate.
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Since writing this I went on to study and I have helped many many humans and animals:)
I am a Professional Animal Communicator, I can speak with your animals! learn more

Spirits in My Laundry

At times I am reminded of my parents. Even though my father passed in 2004 he is around me so much it’s as if we share intimate conversations daily about life. My mother passed in 2010 and brings feelings of affection when I need it most. I find myself doing mundane tasks and being swept away as I think of her ability to weather so many storms that have all blown away. How come I didn’t think Dot and George were so amazing when I was 10?

All of my youth I wanted to be loved by them. There was this simmering battle going on within the frame of our home as my mother tried the best she could to provide for us. Relying on slim earnings reduced even further by my father’s alcoholism brought her misery. He was a jolly drunk and rarely raised his voice to my seven siblings or me but he was the reason behind my mother’s frown. She on the other hand naturally became the disciplinarian and was quick to swat any child stepping out of line. But as the years went by and we all got older the conflict eased as sobriety replaced the bottle. I was now grown with children of my own and still felt robbed of my youth. How dare he put my daughter on his lap and read her stories and listen to her dreams. And my mother, who was always buried beneath a mountain of dirty dishes, suddenly found time to watch a dress-up show with her grandchildren? I carried this anger beneath the surface and it wreaked havoc in many relationships. I recognized this in myself and even though it was a bit scary I confronted them and it's no longer an issue.

I am fortunate enough to have had many walks and talks with them before their crossing and there are no words left unsaid. We spoke of everything and old wounds were released and our relationship only blossomed. I recognized that although they were my parents they were two people. Just ordinary people that had hopes and fears laughter and sorrow just like everyone else and for some reason I expected them to be more than this because they wore the title of “parents.”
They bring me little reminders every now and again. My father is cigarette smoke that follows me everywhere even in the rain. At first this put me off as I am a non-smoker and it really annoyed me, but now I smile and say “Hi dad…back again?”

My mother leaves me clothespins in the most unusual places. At first I would find them and think nothing of it…perhaps my spouse accidentally put it on the freshly wiped counter, but no. She brings them again and again and I am delighted to have made this connection. As a public speaker I often begin introducing myself,  “I was raised by a champion clothes hanger-upper who did four loads daily without a dryer.” I spoke with her as I always do when hanging up laundry after selling our home in and preparing to move.  I said, “Well mom I’m gonna miss our times here. I won’t be hanging up wash here anymore,” and just at that moment the linen bag of clothespins broke and fell into my hands. They looked like a bouquet of wooden flowers and I was so overcome I ran for my camera in tears. She was telling me you have ME don’t worry about the laundry!

Daily meditation can bring so many wonderful life lessons.  As I hear a song reminding me of my childhood the thought drifts with the tune and an image will appear. It’s my parents dancing cheek to cheek and the feeling of their love for each other. It’s a powerful love that remains and it has enabled me to look at my own storms and see that there truly is sunshine behind those clouds. I want to take this light and pass it to my own children. I want to be the song in their hearts. Will I one day be smoke or clothespins? Probably not, but I will teach them that although I wear the name parent I am very much like everyone else. I hope I dream…and I love.

The Library in Your Mind is Now Open

Some people approach meditation to improve mental health much like dieting...and then they just stop. When asked why they discontinued meditation their answers varied:
"I never really "saw" anything or "went" anywhere and I got bored."
"It's too hard to sit and not think and I usually fell asleep."
"I can't "do" it like the books I've read or the videos I've watched."
"I don't have time and I hear it's something that you have to do daily."

Just like dieting for improved physical health there is no one-way-fits-all. As life energies I believe we are all connected; however I do not believe we all are wired to meditate in the same way. It is important to find one that works for you. Do not look for hurry-it-up instructions to achieve quick results. The method I teach, for example, is one of silence. Once I began dedicating 15 minutes daily, it became easier to drift away to my inner harbor of peace.

How can we move past that part of us that wants to use this like a diet? Of all the obstacles that can derail you, I find the worst is comparing yourself to others. This is the beauty of the meditation, it is your unique way of hearing your own voice. Find the method that works for you. Meditation can come in taking a walk by yourself, doing a household chore or soaking in a tub. Maybe listening to recordings of nature or Tibetan singing bowls (all available on downloadable mp3s) will help you to "let go" of thoughts and allow your mind to disconnect from noise and tune in to YOU.

We have all experienced power outages at one time or another. Our world comes to a halt as we look for candles and flashlights. Communication on the internet ceases and the TV zaps off. You had no choice but to sit in silence. If you really think of it you can find 15 minutes of daily disconnection.

Find the moment and space that works for you, whether it's dawn or evening it doesn't matter. What matters is that you value yourself. I used to get caught up in the noise and chatter of the world and now I don't even own a TV, but I feel better informed than most of my neighbors. Why? Because I have learned that I can find guidance within. Meditation is like using a compass to find your way in this murky world. It can help you form better relationships, make wiser decisions, relieve senseless stress and help you to love yourself in a way that removes all doubt that you are less. You are a beautiful spirit that has an entire library of how-to books all in your head...you just need to learn how to open the door and apply them in your life.

To learn how to meditate in silence please read How to Begin.

Monuments Crumble...What's Your Landmark?

Towers fall and crumble and we walk among the ruins. Civilizations of yesterday are now decomposed matter returned to the earth. The planning and building of their magnificent structures took years and cost them a fortune. The labor to produce much of this came from the sweat of a brow that had only known poverty. And with all of their splendor and finery they stood highest among men saying we are the best because we have the most. Wars were fought in hopes of retaining their riches and lives were spent trying to hold on to their wealth. So much struggle and now it has all disintegrated into dust beneath our feet.

Love is teaching children how to follow their passions

Meditation can sometimes bring the most profound thoughts. Today I was given this: Landmarks crumble but what you instill and pass on to others will last eternally. I was struck with the fact that I have been smelling what appears to be "chalk dust" for several weeks now and it's becoming stronger. The scent seems to intensify during meditation and so this revelation of statues and monuments deteriorating, well they seem to fit together.

Our lives are filled with working and planning. How are you using all of this energy? Where is your focus? Is it to amass property and to collect material items that you will someday leave behind? If you think of yourself as today's civilization where is YOUR landmark and how long will it stand?

I have had that moment in my life when I thought it was no longer worth living. Depressed about my loveless marriage, the loss of my parent and the constant feelings that I was not living up to my potential caused me to just pack up and move away. I gathered my art supplies and some clothes and left behind a home with all of its furnishings to start fresh on the money I received after cashing in all my glittering baubles to the highest bidder... the nearest jewelry store. I am not recommending this for everyone, yes it was pretty extreme. I quit a high paying job to replace it with one found on craigslist... a job that would take me over 1300 miles away to the furthest point south in the US...Key West, FL.

Love is sharing your talents with your children all their lives

So what will my landmark be? I believe it will be the lessons I have learned and have passed on. It will be the way I smile and the way I love— yes it will be the way I used the power of love. Not just the love I have for my family and friends, but to the planet and all that it has given me. This I believe is our greatest treasure and something you won't find in history books. Begin today to express love knowing that this may be the greatest recognition for time spent on this earth. This is what will live on, not your home, your automobile, your jewelry or your expensive toys. Use your meditation times to set your intent on being the best channel for purest love and watch how your true wealth begins to appear and spread. To learn more about how you can use meditation to enhance your life please read How to Begin.

Crystal Pathways to Your Hidden Door

Apophyllite

Have you ever thought of using crystals in your meditations? I have introduced this into my daily routine and the results are quite remarkable. This particular crystal, Apophyllite, is exceptional in connecting with your higher self.  You can purchase gems and crystals in Rock Shops and most stores catering to self-healing practices. I always let the crystal choose me by walking around them closing my eyes and when I open them I go to where I am drawn. But take caution...this isn't always the best choice regarding your wallet!
After purchasing your crystal you will need to clean it. If you have a crystal that will not be damaged by water (ask your supplier) it can be held under a tap or immersed in salt water. You can also use a bag of brown rice or sea salt and leave them sitting in it overnight and some people use smudging (pass them through the light of a candle or visualize them surrounded by white light). This will clear away any negative energies and purify them. Next, allow them to sit in the light of the sun or full moon to re-energize them.  Now you are ready to connect with them personally.
To begin you will need to activate your crystal. Hold it in your hands and imagine light all around it or hold it in front of a light source and then formulate your intention. Just be specific on how you want to use it.
This is what I used for my Apophyllite:
"To my highest guides and helpers second to none, bless me and protect me knowing that everything that is said, heard, felt or sensed is with absolute love. I wish to connect with this crystal and use it as a CLEAR CHANNEL to receive guidance and wisdom from my higher self."

I then sit and meditate holding the crystal for about 15 minutes in silence. When I am through I send a blessing and give thanks to all of the guides working on my behalf and I go on my way.

I began using Apophyllite several months ago and it has increased my empathy. I have noticed a surge in my ability to feel the love of others in a way I have never known. Romantic love, parental love and just love for a pet activates a part of you that is so unique.  But what about the ability to feel the love of others around you? I had no idea when I set out to use this crystal that my meditations would take me in this direction. Not only am I able to love myself better, but I am actually feeling the love that is being showered on me. I have three children- ages 36, 31 and 21. I have wonderful relationships with each of them and they are all quite different. But it is only recently that I am actually able to feel their amazing love that is being sent my way. It's so strong that it makes my breath catch and my eyes fill with tears.  Has this always been there? Of course it has, but my ability to sense it this deeply is very new for me. I believe my clear channel has opened me up to this new talent.

Try it for yourself and begin to use crystals in your meditations. Tap into their wondrous power. It is a gift worth giving yourself and may open new doors to the YOU that has been waiting for a visit:)

To learn more about using meditation to connect with yourself please read How To Begin

Special Today-Lobster Tail and Poodle Pudding

Why is it that the people who fuss and coo over their pets think nothing of eating a form of life that was butchered and cooked to provide them a meal? I have even been in the company of some die-hard animal rights advocates who were discussing their next protest while ordering their steaks well-done. If you can eat a cow why not a horse?

In 2005 while I was traveling in Israel. The food was ordered family style and began to appear on platters. Meat on a stick was the entree. We were told it was beef, chicken and lamb. Everything I sampled tasted exactly the same. It was day two with eight more to go. The landscape was breathtaking but I kept stepping over feral cats that seemed to pour out of the cracks. Every photo opportunity had groups of wild cats appearing. Many had missing body parts and were oozing liquid from their eyes and ears. They looked quite sickly. I just couldn't help wondering if they were serving cat in the restaurants. That was the last day I ate meat of any kind. It just all seemed like "flesh" that was once living and breathing and now on my dish. Yes, it's a personal choice and I do not fault anyone eating meat– I want to make this very clear, however I do often wonder about the fine line of some of the choices made regarding the welfare of animals on this planet.

I live in the Florida Keys where hunting for lobster is quite an attraction during Mini-Lobster Season. People come from around the world to net these crustaceans and I really dread this event. There is supposed to be a limit of only 6 lobster per day per person in our waters. Now let me ask you this...who is going to haul their boat, pay for hotel and meals plus fuel for only 6 measly lobsters a day? People come in droves to snatch their bodies off the ocean floors and I doubt if the authorities has enough man power to enforce the rules. And so as I was sitting in a salon recently getting my hair cut I was sickened by the conversation. I was staring at photos of the beautician's pet poodle plastered on the mirror before me. They were discussing how they don't like to actually watch the killing, but they love to eat them.
"You just pop their heads off," said the one lady.
"I know but they still scream even after their heads are off. Their heads are lying beside me screaming while I have their bodies in my hands," laughs the other.
"Yes, but they taste so good and the smaller they are the sweeter they taste."
"Yes, but there are rules you cannot take them under 3" because they need to get bigger."
"Well did you see the one in the paper the other day? It was so huge and my husband said they should have left it because big ones breed bigger lobsters?"
So let me get this straight, came my thought, they shouldn't eat the big ones so they can go back and breed bigger ones for them to eat?

Something does not feel right here. I know of people that spend loads of money on pets. Special diets, special toys and many cannot bare to leave them alone. They play music for them and dress them in little clothes. But these same people think nothing of eating animals. Would they eat a Dolphin or a Panda? Who made the rules of what is ok to eat and what is taboo? Man. Man has taken it upon himself to be the decider of who gets to live freely and who gets to arrive on his plate.

My meditation continues to teach that we are all part of something greater than ourselves. We are united with everything on this planet- every rock, plant and animal...and yes even lobsters.

Choose wisely and think about this connection. No one is advocating that we all become vegans- but we need to be careful about our respect for life. Man may think he rules over this planet. Let a storm wash away all he owns and let him sit upon the shore without material possession or family...or his poodle and let him think again.

To learn more about how you can use meditation to connect with your higher conscious please read

Vibrational Check-Ups Are You Humming?

It's time to evaluate your hum factor. Humans, plants, animals and the world around us are all made up of energy, in actual fact they are living energies. Your energy is much like your fingerprints; nothing existing can match your personal vibrational signature. Imagine your energy as a light radiating all around you. Now imagine each element you come into contact with as living breathing balls of light, your loved ones, your pets, etc each glowing. Now close your eyes and imagine a person you love with all your heart coming into the room and standing beside you. Can you sense the shift in your energy? Take note of the changes within you. Do you feel lighter, more vibrant, calmer or even tingly? Keeping your eyes closed now imagine a person that is always irritable and unkind, someone who always has something nasty to say. They come into the room and stand beside you. How has your energy shifted in response to this person? Note the changes within you and how your energy reacts to this negative energy standing beside you. We can begin to see how one individual whether positive or negative can change the dynamics in a room like a rippling wave washing over you. This is the effect you yourself have on other people. Now you can begin to have a deeper realization of the “good vibes” or “bad vibes” you are connecting with. You are able to become more sensitive to this as you tune into it.  This unspoken communication resides all around—and perhaps you may be engaged in it totally unaware. So, what kind of energy are you?

Now that we have identified the feelings of energies let us move toward tuning into it. Think of your energy like a device that runs on fuel. Begin to make the connection that your energy is reliant on the choices you are making every day. What types of foods do you eat? What liquids do you consume? This beautiful bundle of energy that you consist of requires certain foods to make it run smoothly. Begin today to make wise choices as you approach each meal and strive to give your body the very best. You certainly do not need another diet book to determine what is best for you. Listen to your body and give it the nourishment it requires to run more efficiently. Just like a vehicle that requires certain products to keep it humming, your body runs best when you select nutritional nourishment. Science teaches us that up to 60% of our bodies are composed of water, the brain 70% and the lungs around 90%.  The carbohydrates and proteins that our bodies use as food are metabolized and transported by water in the bloodstream. Replenishing this water is extremely important. So now think about your own patterns. How much water do you drink daily? We have become a people that have replaced this with beverages loaded with additives. Your body will run on this but less efficiently and perhaps some of your parts will become unhealthy and break down. Water is the tool that transports waste material from your body. Sugary beverages only add to the toxins. How much water do you need to drink? Learn to tune into your own energy and give it what it needs – make intelligent choices.

For years I was unaware of the effects that negative energy brought to my health. I was living in a loveless marriage not bothering to make any changes as I wore it as my punishment for my out of wedlock pregnancy. At the time I was allowing religious dogma to rule important life decisions. As you can imagine my home life was a hot bed of negativity. I suffered from insomnia for many years. I struggled with depression along with a poor self-image, loathing my appearance and myself. My miserable life was all hidden behind a smile as I cut the slices of anniversary cake marking another year of despair. Pretty extreme example, I know, but once I made the connection that living with all that negative energy created a toxic swamp making me unhealthy, I was able to pull myself out of the muck and swim to fresh water. Is it any wonder that I chose a place named Clearwater to call home?

As you continue to learn more about yourself through meditation, you will see that certain activities enhance your energy. Food and water is not the only thing your energy requires. Look within- what makes your heart sing?

All my life I have lived near water. Not ever really thinking about it I was always drawn to the sea. The thought of living in any area on this planet where I cannot easily get to an ocean makes me shutter. As I began to learn more about myself I found that my many walks on the beach fed my creativity. This is my element, this is my energy booster and making this connection was like finding a magic that I could tap into. And so in order to maintain a healthy me I have set time aside each week to disappear from electronics and the chatter of the world to be near the ocean. I use this whenever I need to recharge my batteries. How do I know when it is time to do this? Well usually, if I skip this practice, within days I am feeling restless and irritable and I know I have to take a break.

How are you recharging your energy? Begin to ask yourself what is it that helps me feel rejuvenated? Perhaps it’s creating something or being in the presence of animals. Meditate on this. Maybe you love mountains, hiking in a forest or sitting beside a babbling brook. My spouse loves to build and create things. He loves taking many pieces and bringing them all together and for him this creates a calm within. My sister has always been drawn to horses and she finds that they create a peace within her that is unexplainable.

Learn to surround yourself in the elements that bring you harmony. Look around your home, workplace and where you reside. Does it reflect this balance? Does it remind you of the thing that makes your energy feel healthy? Recognize the necessary elements that keep your energy burning brightly and embrace them. For me some of my most inspirational moments have come while sitting in water. Where is your energy booster? Once you discover what it is that really makes your heart sing, be sure to include it into your routine knowing that you are forging a path to a healthier you. This is your energy maintenance and only you will know what works best for you. As you learn to connect with this you will be contributing to the good vibes needed on our planet.

Learn how to meditate by following this simple plan.