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Saturday, May 11, 2013

Toxic Relationship Residue

As we continue to examine the living thoughts we have collected through the years, we can see that the torn and tattered remnants of negative relationships still linger in the shadows. Be these spousal, community or workplace relationships, does not matter. If they were toxic they have left their mark. There are people that will come and go throughout our lives much like chapters in a book. It is important to validate each of them and accept them for who they are and what they meant to you. Some of the characters, in the pages of your life story, may have been unsavory.

I have a few of those characters in my life that I would rather forget. Revisiting these negative experiences holds the energy and brings it to life. Just by opening up these living thoughts we are actively awakening negative energy. This unfavorable energy attracts more of the same. It can bring damaging effects such as: insomnia, headaches, irritability, mood-swings, lack of concentration just to mention a few.

As you look at your life today, examine the current chapter and see if you are keeping the residue of toxic relationships alive. If you have moved on from a disturbing lifetime experience yet still feel yourself hurting, then it is time to LET IT GO! How can you do this? By using your ability to switch off all memories regarding these harmful thought remnants that are holding you back. You are actually being held captive by your own mind. Take responsibility of what thoughts are allowed in and guard your beautiful space. You may try to convince yourself saying, “Oh, but that was years ago, I’m way past all of that.” This is all well and good, however your subconscious still brings it forward every now and again causing you to feel “less” about yourself. You are actually fanning the flames of negativity every time you revisit it.

I have lived with violence experiencing both physical and verbal abuse. It took me years to extract myself from this. Meditation helped me to release the energy that kept this self-loathing very raw. I would pick at the wounds of my heart like a scab keeping it bleeding. This did nothing to help overcome the pain and did everything to bring me poor health. Years ago I had the privilege of working as a volunteer with battered women. I watched the abused victims return to their toxic environments again and again. Many seemed like tethered boats tied securely to the dock unable to sail freely toward open peaceful waters. It was their thoughts that held them there. Thoughts like: “I have no money, my children need both parents living together, it’s not as bad as I think it is.” One of these victims said this looking at me through two black eyes holding a small infant that had suffered a broken arm in an angry burst of violence. She was in denial of the danger she was living in and she was allowing her child to remain in this horrific lifestyle.

Toxic relationships will continue to bring you disharmony until you truly see them for what they are. They are serving you absolutely no good and they are events that are now in the PAST (or for some are bringing them continued harm.)

As you proceed with your meditation, see these thoughts as negative energy being released with every exhale. Blow them away. Let them leave your peaceful, beautiful self and allow them to truly exit now and forever. Poof- gone.

This applies to all relationships in your life. Employment, neighbors, relatives, church, school, clubs, organizations and spousal relationships all can harbor toxic energies. If you have lived through a phase of disharmony regarding thoughts, words or deeds you need to release this energy. See it for what it is and move your thoughts to a more positive environment. Positive attracts positive – move in this direction fully accepting only thoughts for your highest good.

As you continue to release this through meditation, any negative thoughts that have been lurking in the shadows will be brought to your attention. You can now validate them and LET THEM GO. If you are engaged in a toxic relationship it will become clear to you that the path you are treading will need you to make a conscious choice – Do you want to continue with this or is time to move toward inner peace. Only you know what is best for you.

Allowing your inner voice to help you rise above the negative input will help you to make better decisions. Meditation enables you to tune out all thoughts and quiets your emotions. Your choices are made calmly with integrity. Will meditation solve all toxic relationships? Of course not, but it can help lead you down the path of self-love.

Loving yourself attunes your attention to your true value and self-worth. You are a beautiful person who has a right to live in peace. Meditation helps you to discover all the wonderful things about YOU. Your eyes will be open to new opportunities and exciting possibilities. Your heart begins to realize it can love and BE love to the world that so desperately needs this positive healing energy. This love begins with thought. Meditation brings thoughts of self-love that can help you proceed along your journey and navigate away from the residue of toxic relationships.


To learn how you can meditate please read my book Sæ-sii Meditation: How to Find Your Bliss in 15 Minutes a Day